Tag Archives: writing

We’re Ready For Our Close Up

Who is your celebrity doppelganger? Do people tell you so-and-so should play you in a movie? My best one was Marissa Tomei. The worst? Rosie O’Donnell. Also, after I got an unfortunate haircut in the late 90’s, Monica Lewinsky (seriously – I was stopped in the street about it).

Being a fiction writer and pop culture junkie, I’m always holding casting sessions in my mind for my stories. (FYI, Nia Vardalos, you are the lead in my manuscript, along with Bradley Cooper. You’re welcome.)

At our most recent, booze-infused meeting, the topic came up of who we would want to play us in a movie, tentatively titled “Champagne: A Love Story”.

First up, Maria.

This one was easy: Christina Hendricks. They each have beautiful crimson tresses, quiet intelligence and an impressive rack. Also, both can rock the naughty secretary thing like nobody’s business.

Casting Beckie was a bit more tricky.

We tossed out Mena Suvari, Alicia Silverstone and Kate Hudson. But to me, they’re too ingénue. Too obvious. Our little Beckie has some seriously delicious quirks that those ladies don’t capture for me. So, Leelee Sobieski it is. She’s super cute and you just know her still waters run very deep.

And me?

I’m gonna go with Nigella Lawson. Sure, she’s not an actress, but she’s got big-ass hair, isn’t afraid to show some cleavage (hers real, mine more of an optical illusion) and is a mad demon in the kitchen.

And, in case you haven’t noticed, food plays a vital role in a Restless Writers’ meeting, much like New York City is the fourth character in Sex and the City.

Who would play you in the movie of you?

Lori

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We’re 1 year old and already toilet trained!

It was a year ago that our little band of restless writers was born. We met like most people do these days – online. I posted a ‘group wanted’ notice on Brian Henry’s most excellent blog and the rest is history.

Beckie is our social media maven – a commenting crusader who tweets ‘til it hurts. Without her, our following would likely be limited to immediate relatives and each other.

Maria is the queen of the quill – an enormously talented and technical writer with a limitless supply of resources for writers in all stages of their vocation.

And me? I just write about how I never have the time or space to write.

Since coming together last year, we have collectively:
· Revised a 300-page women’s fiction manuscript
· Consumed over 20 bottles of wine while scarfing 8 rounds of brie
· Revised a young adult fiction manuscript and children’s non-fiction proposal
· Guzzled Sangria as we nibbled on truckloads of baguettes (with associated dips)
· Uttered, “Holy crap!” countless times when reading Maria’s charmingly disturbing short stories
· Convinced Maria that at least 3 of her short stories must become full novels
· Drank enough Strongbow Cider to fill a hot tub

Our second year looks to be even more promising, with writing conferences and retreats in the works (and, of course, lots of wine). I hope you all keep dropping by our blog…we’ve loved having you…

As for you, Beckie and Maria: happy anniversary…I love you, bitches!

Lori

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Writing Roots

Beckie wrote about when she writes, which got me thinking about where I write.

I’m writing this blog post at the hairdresser. I have a ridiculous amount of hair (think Witch Hazel of Bugs Bunny fame) that was gray before I hit thirty. At forty, a swathe of sidewalk-gray roots is visible every 3 weeks. My point being, I spend a lot of time – not to mention money – at my salon.

The upshot of this is that the hairdresser’s chair affords me the opportunity to write, uninterrupted, for almost an hour (as long as I can resist the siren song of People and Vanity Fair).

Being in such a public yet confined space, I’m surrounded by fascinating characters and conversations – many have made their way into my writing. I know coffee shops are a haven for countless writers; one friend writes her best work in the tub; many find inspiration at pubs or lounges (note to self: must try that).

Where do you do your best writing?

Lori

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Filed under Inspiration, Life and stuff, Writing ideas

Restless Writin’ Mama

Last night my fellow Restless Writers (both child-free) e-mailed me after work asking if I’d join them for an impromptu drink. I replied that I couldn’t because…how did I put it?…oh yes – my kids were being assholes.

This is where it should be noted that I love my children (honestly!) and normally adore being with them. My family has been the main catalyst that got me writing – I finally had the time (typing while nursing is an art), endless material and, most importantly, the confidence to try. (Because let me tell you, after pushing out a ten-pounder with only half the epidural kicking in, you can do a.n.y.t.h.i.n.g.)

It doesn’t diminish the fact that most parents feel that, from time to time, their precious darlings are acting a bit…well…ass’ish.

I won’t bore you with the details (grape popsicles on bedroom carpets and make-up in the toilet), but it really drove home a question that Beckie and Maria have brought up: How in the name of Huggies do mothers find the time to write?

I spent over a year writing my manuscript with a newborn and four-year-old, which sounds a bit insane. I’ve spent the three years since revising and querying my manuscript, which sounds a bit sad.

I’ve written late into the night and early in the morning (conclusion: no one can write coherently at 4:00 a.m., except maybe monks). I work from home and, with one kid at school and the other napping, I desperately try to cram a full work day into those two hours (all of this while – not to sound too Betty Draper about it – trying to cook and clean for my family). So people look at me and wonder, when do I have time to write for me and why – at this point in my life – do I even bother trying?

My world is currently filled with constant demands on my time. My attention. My effort. At this point, I can’t not write, because it’s my outlet. My indulgence. My sanity.

I look – as ever – to Judy Blume, who wrote her first book at the kitchen table while her kids were at school. I’ve also heard that Kelley Armstrong wrote Bitten during her lunch hour at work while pregnant with her second child. Even Stephen King had to retreat to the loo of his camper to find the solitude required to finish Carrie.

My point being, you find a way. You multi-task. You write because you, my fellow harried parent, are a writer.

Lori

p.s. Feel free to vent in the comments!

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Filed under Inspiration, Life and stuff, Motivation

This pretty much sums it up…

Writing is an adventure. To begin with, it is a toy and an amusement. Then it becomes a mistress, then it becomes a master, then it becomes a tyrant. The last phase is that just as you are about to be reconciled to your servitude, you kill the monster and fling him to the public.
Winston Churchill

Lori

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Sexy-Times: Trials & Tribulations

I’m revising the final act of my manuscript and I’ve hit a wall. A sex wall, to be exact.

You see, there’s a romantic, um, encounter that occurs and I’ve been struggling with both how far my heroine goes with the fella as well as how descriptive said encounter should be.  Apparently, despite my initial bravado, I am an emotional twelve-year-old when it comes to writing sex scenes (complete with blushing, discomfort and mild nausea).

Now, I like a good sex scene as much as the next middle-aged suburban soccer mom, but when I have to choreograph it…well, let’s just say it feels like my grandma is reading over my shoulder (or is – shudder – in the room with my heroine and her dude).

Last month, I unveiled my progress to my fellow restless writers and the reaction was unanimous: MORE SEX PLEASE!

And I tried, I really did: I googled “how to write a good sex scene”; I drank a lot of red wine; I even had some fairly steamy stuff on paper. But it just wasn’t working for me and I started feeling like a big, frigid prude (Judy Blume was cranking out fantastic raunch in her sixties!).

Then I read an interview with Jennifer Weiner, one of my favourite authors, and she stated that, as long as her mother was alive, she wouldn’t be writing any  sex scenes either.

My fellow writers will be disappointed, but until further notice, Ms. Weiner and I will be tunneling under the sex wall, much to the relief of our mothers/grandmas.

Lori

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Filed under Starting up, Trials and Tribulations

Sweet agony

I’m reading Andrew Pyper’s The Killing Circle. In Part One, the reader is introduced to protagonist Patrick Rush, a “recently widowed journalist and failed novelist,” according to the blurb. 

In one of the best expressions of a writer’s envy I’ve ever read, Patrick explains why he got to hate reading the New York Times Review of Books:

“The reviews themselves rarely mattered. In fact, I usually couldn’t finish reading the remotely positive ones. As for the negative ones, they too often proved to be insufficient salves to my suffering. Even the snarkiest vandalism, the baldest runs at career enders, only acted as reminders that their victims had produced something worth pissing on. Oh, to awaken on a rainy Sunday and refuse to get out of bed on account of being savaged in the Times! What a sweet agony that would be, compared to the slow haemorrhaging in No Man’s Land it was to merely imagine creating words worthy of Newspaper of Record contempt.” (p. 20-21, Seal Books, August 2009).

Before his life goes to hell in a hand basket—as lives do in thrillers—Patrick joins a writing circle. Da da…DAA!

Perhaps my fellow Restless Writers would like to pick up a copy. I also recommend The Wildfire Season by the same author.

Maria

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Writing and reading(s)

I loved reading this article in last Sunday’s Toronto Star about how writers write—or not. I enjoyed getting a glimpse of the various procrastination tactics these successful and celebrated authors employ. Some might chide me for all the ways I avoid writing—this article makes me think I’m not such a slacker after all.  There’s a whole community of procrastinating authors out there!

The article is part of a series of pieces written to promote the International Festival of Authors, taking place at the Harbourfront Centre from October 21 to 31. Authors are also venturing out into suburbia and beyond for special events in Barrie, Burlington, Don Mills, Midland, Orillia, Parry Sound and Uxbridge.

Information about the event in Burlington in partnership with a different drummer books can be found here.

Maria

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Derailed, and getting back on track

You leave your writers’ group meeting full of anticipation, your mind buzzing with helpful critique and your fingers aching to get at the keyboard. That evening, you devote a couple of hours to your novel, and go to bed feeling that warm, self-righteous glow that comes from productivity. Your next meeting is in four weeks—not a lot of time to produce 20 pages.

The next day, your husband reminds you that you have company coming and the bathrooms need cleaning but he can’t help because he has an early morning tee-time. You sigh the sigh of domestically martyred women everywhere and put on the rubber gloves. When they come off later in the day, you’re too exhausted to check your email, let alone write.

Since you are also a freelancer, Murphy’s Law says that you will get three new projects the minute you take a vacation day to write.

Your sister’s cat gets sick. You need to buy a light bulb and new socks. And your dishwasher needs servicing.

By the time you emerge from this glacier of responsibility, you realize that it’s almost fall and you haven’t written a word in two weeks.

It’s official—you’re derailed.

When you realize that you’ve gone off the tracks, your first emotion is despair. You fret that you’ve lost whatever motivation you may have had to write; that you’ll never get another spark of creativity; that writing won’t make you any money anyway so why bother. The computer is a mute reminder of your thwarted ambition.

But then you feel a little better. It gets easier to not write. You watch reality television. You have dinner with your family. You shop for a new dishwasher.

You work and cook and clean and do all those things that keep your life going. You go for walks. You try a yoga workout. You become a regular visitor at www.CuteOverload.com.

All of a sudden, you remember that you love to read. You immediately devour four women’s magazines, a collection of fairy tales re-told for adults, half a fantasy novel, and the Onion, all in one week.

You re-visit an old Alice Munro story. You finally get what Rust Hills meant when he said “a short story tells of something that happens to someone.”

One day, while you’re flipping through the newspaper, you are struck by an article about a dog who was found at death’s door after being abandoned by his owner. You think how interesting it would be to write a fictional take on the vet who struggles to heal the dog, while she also struggles to extricate herself from a love affair gone sour.

You get that ache in your fingers again.

You decide that So You Think You Can Dance is overrated. You go a day without cute-cat videos. You open up your work-in-progress to the place you left off nearly two weeks ago. You tell yourself you’ll write one paragraph before having dinner.

Three hours later, your husband asks if he should pick up pizza or Thai.

You’re back on track.

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The Writer’s Shelf: New uses for old books

I just inherited the full Encyclopaedia Britannica for 2002, and, I must say, the books look quite impressive, lined up neat and tidy across one shelf. The black binding looks official, an impression strengthened by the logo, an engraved gold thistle. The spines still bear orange “For Library Use Only” stickers, which I can’t remove without damaging the covers.

The books were an unexpected gift. An Oakville woman found my name on the Indexing Society of Canada’s website. She had bought the whole set for $15 from a book sale held by the Friends of the Oakville Public Library, thinking it would be helpful as she started an indexing career. At 80, perhaps she was being a bit optimistic. Her husband’s failing health led her to cast aside her indexing ambitions and to box up all 29 volumes (not counting the index and propaedia).

I’m happy to take books if they’re offered. I do have a frugal side, and the 2002 Encyclopaedia Britannica set was probably worth a few thousand when acquired by the library. At the same time, I was gifted with two newspaper style guides, Whitaker’s Almanac 2000, and The Unofficial Guide to Hockey’s Most Unusual Records.

Over the years, I’ve accepted carton after carton of old books. Friends and family know their old sci-fi novels and beach-read doorstops will find a good home with me. Why not? I’ll read anything.

I have also accepted slightly dated non-fiction books in the past. Just yesterday, I came across a third edition of Written Communication in Business, a 1971 college textbook. I can picture this book being carted from class to class by pony-tailed young women—women destined for careers as secretaries, women well positioned to find and wed promising businessmen. There is an entire chapter on dictation, and, of course, no mention of e-mail.

While I likely won’t use this textbook to improve my writing, I can get a better picture of the mechanics and context of business communication in the ‘70s. What would a student of business need to know before sitting down to write a report? How has resume writing changed in the past 35 years? (Would you believe readers were counseled to include their height and weight in a job application?) Was the semi-colon as detested as it is today?

While some second-hand pieces of my library find their way up to the cottage—Nora Roberts and Debbie Macomber being the most likely to be banished—books like the communication textbook will probably stay right where they are. The same goes for other found dated gems, like my second edition of Fowler’s Modern English Usage; a decade-old Canadian atlas; and a book on the best home-based businesses of the ‘90s.

As a writer living in and observing the world, I know the books I purchase will fade away, lose their immediacy, become old-fashioned, quaint, archaic. Yet those same resources are the ones that remind me that all I can do is record my own brief moment in time. The instant I write one word, the world has already changed. I am a new person by the time I finish a sentence. Yet that moment of change is what gives each piece its own luminous, eternal significance.

I’m sure I’ll cherish my new/old set of encyclopaedias. The Internet can take me only so far, and I don’t completely trust the communal and changeable nature of Wikipedia. While the encyclopaedias won’t help me if I want to read up on current events, I still value their physical heft and their thoughtful essays. I am left gaping in wonder that all those volumes still only manage to capture just one brief, bright perspective of a vast and varied humanity.

So, a question for my fellow Restless Writers: what resource in your library gives you a nostalgic thrill?

Maria

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