Author Archives: Maria

About Maria

A communications professional, indexer, editor, dreamer, and planner. Oh, and she likes to write.
by | March 11, 2023 · 12:14 pm

“How’s that novel coming along?”

Honouring your unofficial accountability partners

How many times have you been on the receiving end of a question like this?  

“How’s that novel coming along?” “Have you finished your book yet?” “When can I read that short story?”

No matter who asks me this kind of question—my writing group colleagues, my sister, or a random well-intentioned stranger who hears that I am a writer—I have an emotional, visceral response. An internal shudder. A surge of irritation. An immediate need to run away or hide.

I find it’s easy to respond with a little white lie: “Still chugging away!” Or a deflection: “It’s fine. But tell me about your new job!” Or a half-hearted attempt at a joke: “You’ll have to wait a bit longer—I’m holding out for a 6-figure advance and a Netflix adaptation.”

If I’m feeling especially fragile, I want to lash out with sarcasm or venom. Or just cry.

It’s no fun being reminded that your work in progress is just that—a work in progress. As in, not done yet. Especially if you feel stuck, if you’re comparing yourself to another writer, or if you had planned on reaching whatever word-count by now. Maybe you haven’t written anything in weeks, and the shame and self-loathing is gnawing at your insides. Maybe you gave up on your novel and turned your focus to renovating your laundry room, or gardening, or moping. (Been there.)

Whatever plot problem, personal vulnerability, or other form of writer’s block has caused your project to stall, it’s not the fault of that friend or family member who innocently stumbled into your creative dark night of the soul.

Instead of blasting that hapless individual or succumbing to those negative feelings, try this instead:

Pause: Take a deep breath. Sip your drink. Tie your shoelaces. Do something to give yourself a moment before you respond.

Smile: The action of using your face muscles to smile can have an effect on whatever negative emotion you’re actually feeling. Basically, fake it ‘til you make it.

Say thank you: This person is taking an interest in you and your writing. They don’t know about your internal struggles. They probably care about you and genuinely want to know how it’s going.

Clock your response: Notice the emotion you feel in response to their inquiry and reflect on why it set you off. Think about why you had the emotional response you did.

Be honest with them: You’re not obligated to tell this person why your writing has stalled. That’s between you and your muse—or you and your therapist. But if it feels right in the moment, share that the writing isn’t going as smoothly as you like. They might have some words of wisdom, or at least a sympathetic ear.

Be honest with yourself: If something isn’t going the way you want with your writing, you’re the only one who can change things. Ultimately, you’re responsible for moving forward with your creative project. Whatever has you stalled—lack of time, lack of motivation, boredom, frustration, a problem with craft, a problem with structure—it’s up to you to dig into that challenge and find a way through it.

As unwelcome or uncomfortable as those questions are, they can be the kick in the pants you need to get back to writing. Taking a closer look at why questions like this set you off can help you understand what’s keeping you from moving forward.

And that can ultimately help you turn discomfort into action.

How do you handle questions about your writing?

Maria

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by | January 4, 2023 · 3:48 pm

Making trade-offs to achieve your writing goals in 2023

Thoughts on burners, balance, and blending

It’s “new year, new you” season. If you’re a writer like me, you might be planning how you’ll approach your projects this year. And if, like me, you know you’ll take on too many projects this year and you see the dreaded stress, burnout, and soul-sucking disappointment on the horizon, lean in. I’ve got some thoughts.

James Clear, a writer and thought-leader on human behaviour and productivity, has written about the “four burners” theory. This theory envisions your life as made up of four quadrants, like four burners on a gas stove. Those four quadrants are family, friends, health, and work.

The four burners theory maintains that if you want to be successful, you can’t have all four burners going full-blast at once. You have to turn the gas down on one burner if you want to be successful, or cut one or two burners off completely.

Clear confesses that, at first, he wanted to find workarounds, so he could keep all four burners going and still be successful. For example, combining burners—such as friends and health, or health and work—but he eventually came to terms with what the theory is telling him about choice.

“Essentially, we are forced to choose. Would you rather live a life that is unbalanced, but high-performing in a certain area? Or would you rather live a life that is balanced, but never maximizes your potential in a given quadrant?”

James Clear

My two main thoughts from Clear’s article are this: 1) Work-life balance shouldn’t be the goal; and 2) Four burners doesn’t tell the whole story.

One: Work-life balance shouldn’t be the goal.

We are not bottomless wells of energy. We can only spend so much of our attention and energy and focus at a time, and we can’t keep up all aspects of our life on “full gas.” That way lies the aforementioned stress, burnout, and soul-sucking disappointment. But as Clear says, aiming for balance might mean that you aren’t excelling in any one area. Ideally, we should strive to put the right amount of energy towards the specific quadrants of our lives where we want to excel, when it makes sense—but it can’t happen all the time. You can’t give everything equal energy. Throughout your life, different burners will take precedence, and you will have to focus on them for as long as needed.

Bill Howatt, chief research and development officer of workforce productivity at Morneau Shepell maintains that there is no work-life balance. For Howatt, it’s all about blending your time.

“Most of us don’t live in two separate worlds where at work we focus only on work and at home we focus only on home.”

Bill Howatt

This blending concept resonated with me. I work from home, and the lines between those two domains are blurred. Hands up if you find yourself working over your lunch break or checking messages while you do laundry in the evenings. Keep your hands up if you also end up “homing from work”—making doctor’s appointments, checking personal emails, or throwing the laundry in the dryer when you’re on the clock. There’s no clear and definite separation, thanks to technology and the changing expectations of the workplace.

Instead of finding some elusive sense of balance, Howatt recommends using the tools of awareness, accountability, and action to find the perfect blend of work, home, and the other burners of your life you have to keep simmering.

Two: Four burners doesn’t tell the whole story.

The thing that really stuck in my mind was, why only four burners? I found myself hung up on the fact that the four burners model doesn’t represent my life.

As someone who works a day-job, does freelance work, writes in the early and wee hours, and pursues a variety of other projects and initiatives, I find the “work” label too simplistic.

I also volunteer. Is that work? Friends? Health?

Some people get great meaning and fulfillment out of their spirituality, and attend services and events related to their faith community. Where’s the burner for that?

Semantics? Perhaps. Maybe I need to forget about the specific burners. Maybe I need to make my own imaginary stove with enough burners to represent my life and have each one labelled appropriately: family, friends, work, writing, health, volunteering. We are each of us unique individuals with a wide variety of interests and responsibilities.

What it boils down to is no matter what burners I have on my stove, I can’t give them all equal energy all the time. I will have to choose for myself which quadrants of my life need the most attention and when, and how to light the other burners back up when it makes sense.

As Clear says, it’s all about trade-offs.  Am I okay with dialing back my creative pursuits while I ramp up my volunteer commitments? Can I give my partner less attention than my current WIP and still feel okay with it? What are the trade-offs that I’m willing to make?

These are the kinds of new-year thoughts I need to mull over this month.

What burners make up your stove? Have you ever had to put a burner on simmer while you gave another one more gas? How did it go? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Happy 2023 (and happy writing!) from the Restless Writers!

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by | January 3, 2022 · 8:34 am

Confessions of an Idea Hoarder

Happy new year from the Restless Writers!

Today’s post is all about getting your new year started with a writing idea clean-up.

Imagine running out of ideas for your writing. It’s the stuff of nightmares. You sit down at your computer or pick up your pen, ready to leap into a new story, and there’s…nothing. The well has run dry. The spark has been extinguished. The horror, the horror!

I have lots of challenges when it comes to my own writing, but running out of ideas isn’t one of them. My problem is usually the opposite. I have plenty of ideas. My idea cup overfloweth. Every day I get at least one new idea, if not more. I have ideas tucked into notebooks, written on the backs of phone bills, jotted quickly into Evernote or a draft text. I have ideas that I never got around to writing down, but they’re assembled in the central idea-hub of my brain, hoping to be plucked from the crowd and turned into something amazing.

It doesn’t seem like much of a problem, right? Isn’t it better to have too many ideas instead of none?

Generally, yes. But I hoard my ideas. That idea-hub in my brain? It’s jam-packed, and I’m not sure how much more I can cram in there. My ideas are spilling out all over the place. If I’m not careful, I’ll trip over a pile of ideas while trying to do something important, like cross the street or remember my sister’s phone number.

I hesitate to throw any of my ideas out—what if I lose my best idea ever? What if I need that idea again someday, when the ideas flow more slowly?

At the same time, I’d like to get rid of some of those ideas that—let’s face it—are just not going to work out. I’d like to free up some of my brain to focus on the ideas that I can craft into good stories.

The new year seems like a good time to give my idea-hub a thorough cleaning. I have decided to take the same approach I would take to decluttering my closet: take everything and lay it all out to have a good look, and then divide all the things into four piles (or files, in this case): KEEP, REPURPOSE, DONATE, or TOSS.

Want to join me? Here’s how you can think about what goes in these piles:

  • KEEP: This pile is for those bright, precious, and meaningful ideas that you know will make great stories some day. They have longevity, impact, and potential. Keep these ideas in a file or notebook close at hand. Finish whatever it is that’s keeping you from pouncing on any one of them right now, or make the time to pick one and write it into being. Make a promise to yourself that you will focus on these beautiful ideas, one at a time.
  • REPURPOSE: You might come across ideas that are really not very good, but, when you take a closer look, you will see they have the kernel of something usable. It could be a word, a phrase, or a feeling it evokes—whatever it is, you can use that tidbit. You might also be able to re-work the idea into a different piece, like a poem instead of a novel, or a blog post or a drabble. Stash these ideas away, and see if you can work it into another piece later.
  • DONATE: Could someone else use that idea you don’t care for anymore? Give it away! Share it as a prompt on social media. Use it as an exercise for your writing group. Suggest it as an option for a fellow writer’s WIP. Be a good literary citizen, and support your fellow writers.
  • TOSS: Even the best ideas lose their luster over time. Maybe they are so dated that they are no longer workable. Maybe you came up with these ideas at a different time in your life, and now they make you cringe. You really don’t want your grand-kids to find these ideas in a dusty box in the attic after you are gone. So get rid of them. Delete, erase, bury, rub out, strike-through, burn. Make a ritual out of it, if you like, giving a small prayer of gratitude to your muse for giving you that whacked-out idea in the first place. And then get back to those good ideas.

Hopefully these tips will help you clear out some idea-junk, so you can focus on the ideas you can really work with.

Have fun with your idea clean-up—and your writing! Maria

Photo by Guilherme Rossi from Pexels

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by | February 20, 2021 · 9:02 am

Make it messy

There are two bits of advice about writing that I return to time and time again when I am feeling stuck with my work.

The first: “Write drunk, edit sober.” This saying is attributed to Ernest Hemingway, that master of brevity and flourish-free language.

And the second: “Almost all good writing begins with terrible first efforts.” This piece of advice is from Natalie Goldberg in the classic Bird by Bird.

Both of these insights speak to me, because I have a tendency to clam up before I really get going. Maybe you have this tendency too. I am often so caught up in the desire to tell a great story, to dazzle my readers with wit and charm, to surprise them with something unique, that I find it hard to get going. The pressure gets to me, and hello writer’s block. I get stuck striving for perfection and elegance right out of the gate, instead of doing the actual work of writing.

Writing a “shitty first draft” (Goldberg’s term) and writing drunk are not excuses for me to churn out bad, careless work. But it does mean that I have the freedom to write the raw material of the story that I need to write, without the fear of judgment. No-one will see my first draft except me. I have to remind myself to simply get the story on paper, in all its beautiful, terrible, first-glimpse glory—and then shape it into something that someone else might want to read.

Don’t worry about perfection or form or style or commas. Produce the beginnings of something that excites you. Write fast and sloppy. Let your characters do whatever they want. Use simple language and un-fussy descriptions. And write every day or as often as you can manage it, until you have a lovely messy first draft in your hands. Save the polish until later.

Writing is hard. Getting started is harder. Allow yourself the freedom to churn something out, poke around in the mess, and see if you can create something shiny and beautiful from it.

Photo by Amauri Mejía on Unsplash.

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by | August 19, 2020 · 6:44 am

Ruthless concentration: How an hour can improve your life

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Like so many people these days, I struggle with productivity. With all the late-night doom-scrolling, a monkey brain that won’t sit still, efforts to quell daily anxiety, and trying to keep my hustle going, I’m finding it hard to actually focus on one task at a time in order to make progress.

I have so many interests and plans and things I want to do—and that I’m excited and motivated to do—that they make a  log-jam in my brain and I don’t actually get any of them done. I find it’s so much easier to do other things that feel like productive tasks, but are just time-wasters.

I’m super guilty of patting myself on the back for doing the dishes, cleaning up my inbox, and organizing my bookshelves. Anybody else?

I needed to find a way to be productive.

So naturally, I turned to YouTube to see what some internet influencers had to say on the topic of productivity.

Cue the irony of many, many hours of lost productivity here.

BUT, I did actually learn something. Even better, I have been able to deploy one super-helpful thing to make progress in my writing and my hustle.

That thing? It’s what Joey Schweitzer, creator of the YouTube channel Better Lives, calls, “ruthless, active concentration for one hour.” He talks about it in this video: The most important skill for improving your life.

According to Joey, “Pretty much every day, we have at least one thing that we know we need to do, and that if we were somehow able to sit down and do that thing from start to finish, our life would be better because of it.” Whether that one thing is to write 500 words, take an online course, or do your taxes, if you can apply yourself for one hour and complete that task, you will have taken a step towards improving your life or realizing an important goal.

Joey believes that if you can focus intensely on one task at a time, you will literally change your life. Because all those plans and dreams you have to live a more fulfilling life all come down to doing one thing at a time, one after the other, until you reach your goal. And the only way to accomplish those tasks is to focus on each one of those things with intentionality.

The tips Joey shares in this video to improve your focus are organized into three categories: properly crafting your physical environment, designing your digital environment, and training your mind. Many of the tips—such as putting your phone out of your line of sight while you’re focusing on a task—you would think are no-brainers. But they don’t actually work unless you do them. So when you start to operationalize these tips, you realize how powerful they are.

I set out to try the ruthlessly concentrated hour approach—and I still struggled when I was accountable to no-one except myself. But I found a secret weapon that worked. I was able to sit down and focus for an hour on one task, with no (well, not many) fidgets, no social media distractions, no gazing aimlessly out the window, no “let me just throw on a load of laundry.” And I wrote 1,000 words in one sitting.

That secret weapon was Focusmate.

Focusmate is an online community and virtual coworking site where you set up structured 50-minute sessions with other people who are trying to concentrate too. From my first sample session using this virtual accountability tool, I was a convert. Not only was I productive, I also got an immense boost from completing my session. I felt proud and energized, and I couldn’t wait to do it again. I highly recommend you check it out. (Did I mention it’s free, for now anyway? They are introducing paid plans on September 26, although can still book three sessions per week for free.)

When I mentioned it to the Restless Writers at our recent in-person meeting (yay!) (double yay!) (yes, we followed good physical distancing protocols and stayed outside!), they were a little wary of the fact that you are basically being stared at for an hour by a complete stranger. For me, that’s what made it work—it felt friendly but business-like, so there was no temptation to take a break to chat. I didn’t want to look bad by scrolling through my feeds. I was motivated to be on my best behaviour, and I was motivated by helping someone else achieve their productivity goal too. Whatever science is behind this, it works.

You might find it easier to set up a coworking session on Zoom or Skype with someone you trust. The Restless Writers might try that too. The point is to set up your hour of intense focus, and get. Shit. Done.

Have you tried Focusmate or video coworking? Or do you have some other method that keeps you on-task? Please share your trick in the comments, and tell us how it worked out for you.

Maria

Photo by Minh Pham on Unsplash.

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by | January 24, 2019 · 6:06 pm

Resisting the pull of instant gratification

_instant gratification takes too long._How many of you made New Year’s resolutions? Did you resolve to lose weight or get fit? Maybe you resolved to quit smoking or avoid sugar. Or maybe your goal is to save money, read more books, find a better job, be nicer to your fellow humans, or—if you’re a fellow scribbler—write a novel.

(I personally didn’t make any. Not because “I don’t believe in making resolutions” or because I don’t have goals—I was felled by the flu and too sick to even consider long-term habits on December 31. I might give it another try for the Chinese New year.)

Most people who do make resolutions are aiming for a big change or achievement that will improve their life or health or give them deep personal satisfaction. These kinds of big goals take time. Experts say it takes anywhere from three weeks to two months for a new habit to be entrenched. At this point in January, some of you may be starting to see the positive impacts of, say, swapping your daily sugary coffee drink for green tea, sweating it out at the gym three times a week, or logging your 250 words daily.

Or, some of you may have given up on your resolution because you haven’t seen any results.

If you’re sheepishly raising your hand at the latter, take heart. You’re not alone.

We are all conditioned to want and expect quick results. We get pulled in by get-rich-quick schemes and stories of overnight success. We buy in to promises of fast weight-loss through the latest fad diets. We fork out hard-earned dollars on shortcuts, magic potions, and secret tips to achieving our goals today, if not sooner. Our need for instant gratification is ingrained in our culture.

Writers are not immune to the pull of the quick path to publication. We dream of having a short story accepted by The New Yorker, with book deals and publicity following swiftly after. (Think Kristen Roupenian and “Cat Person”). We imagine writing our magnum opus in solitude all in one sitting, fueled by an inescapable idea and passion…and possibly by generous amounts of wine and gummi bears. NaNoWriMo doesn’t help to diminish this vision. You can “win” National Novel Writing Month by writing a 50,000-word novel in one month (November). In 2017, 468,104 participants signed up to give it a try. I haven’t heard how many of them produced a masterpiece to instant and widespread acclaim.

Many writers have cranked out their novels quickly and found success (I heard it took Ian Fleming six weeks on average to write a James Bond novel). But I would argue that the most meaningful, well-written, and reader-connecting books take months if not years of effort. And now, with writers making less money than ever before, those pesky day-jobs mean not everyone can write as quickly as they like. Making writing a habit, and doing it every day, whenever you can, for as long as it takes to finish, is most likely the surest path to writing a good book.

So, how do you resist the pull of instant gratification? How do you hunker down and take regular, doable steps towards your big writing goal?

Be realistic. Make sure your goal is a stretch, but still achievable. If it’s unlikely that you will have the time to write 1,000 words a day, don’t commit to that. You will have to make sacrifices in order to work towards your goal, but make them manageable. If you try to force writing into your day by giving up something that is similarly meaningful or important to you, you may grow to resent your work, and you will find yourself in a stall. Encourage yourself to write by making your commitment realistic.

Luxuriate in the time it takes. Revel in the daily effort. Tell yourself how excited and lucky you are to be able to pursue your writing. After all, your goal is something that has deep meaning for you—reminding yourself that you are taking action towards a life-long goal can help you move forward. You are becoming a better writer every time you pick up your pen. Remind yourself that, clichéd as it is, it’s not the destination, it’s the journey. It’s like going on a cruise, taking a long train ride, or doing a jigsaw puzzle. Enjoy the journey (or at least tell yourself you’re enjoying the journey—you may come to believe it).

Inspire yourself for that journey. Make your writing space cozy and welcoming. Put up inspirational quotes or posters that will remind you of why you’re writing. Decorate your space with photos that give you joy. Green up your space with a plant, or enjoy a bunch of wildflowers. Listen to music and have a cat on your lap. Or scrap all that, and make your space as spartan and clean as possible. If you make your space conducive to writing, it will make it that much easier to keep coming back.

Celebrate milestones and daily progress towards your goal. For each step you take towards your writing goal, give yourself a check-mark, a gold star, or a fuzzy unicorn sticker. Tell everyone, and bask in their admiration. When you hit a key milestone in your work—a word count or the completion of a chapter—celebrate it! Every day is a step towards success, and you deserve a pat on the back. And the good feels will help you keep going.

Have a support group that motivates you. These cheerleaders, be they friends, family, a writing group, or an online community, can push you when the going gets tough. They can also help you celebrate key milestones. But don’t forget to thank them—as you go through the process and on the acknowledgements page when your book comes out!

Finally, don’t forget to take care of yourself. The long haul can be a challenge. Take breaks when you need them. Refill your “creativity well” through reading and the arts. Stay active and maybe say no to the wine and gummi bears once in a while. Binge-writers will suffer the effects of carpal tunnel, writer’s cramp, paper-cuts, and possible hangovers, but you will be well-rested, healthy, and ready for a lifetime of writing.

Do you feel better equipped to resist the need for instant gratification in your writing? If you need a push now and then, drop by the blog or say hello in the comments. The Restless Writers are here for the long haul too. We’re beside you all the way.

Maria

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by | September 14, 2018 · 7:45 pm

7 ways that mindfulness can make you a better writer

jonathan-pielmayer-252923-unsplash - smallAfter an exceptionally busy summer where I did hardly anything but work and recover and work some more, I am now back in a mind-space where I can re-introduce myself to my writing. (Hello, Writing, how have you been? Great to see you. It’s been too long. You look fantastic. Have you lost weight?)

Over the summer, my writing projects took a back-seat in my brain. They were lazy and laid low. But now they’re up and about and ping-ponging all over the place. I can’t seem to catch hold of one idea long enough to do anything about it. And more keep cropping up. So many ideas! How wonderful! How energizing! How…overwhelming!

It’s not unusual for me to be a scatterbrain. I am a Restless Writer, after all. But there must be a way for me to corral all my ideas and see one through to completion, right?

Maybe the answer lies in mindfulness.

Mindfulness has its roots in the practice of meditation, and it was all the rage just a few years ago. Experts and gurus were spouting the physical and mental health benefits of mindfulness, and how it could be used to enhance productivity and problem-solving; how it could help people tap into emotional intelligence; how it could help us be more resilient to stress and trauma. Everyone from yoga instructors and schoolteachers to CEOs and your employer’s EAP was doing it, and it spawned magazines, gadgets, apps, ringtones, retreats and colouring books—a whole industry devoted to helping us “be present” and “live in the moment” (and spend money while we were doing it).

Do I sound skeptical? Maybe a little. I get squinchy when I ponder the woo-woo stuff. Plus there’s a whole “first-world problems” side to mindfulness that makes me uncomfortable. Not to mention that entrepreneurs are getting rich by telling me to focus on one thing at a time and take deep breaths.

But okay—and I am taking a deep breath here—skepticism aside, how can I apply some of the lessons of mindfulness to writing?

Hold up. Is it even possible for writers to train themselves to be aware and present in the here-and-now when their minds and imaginations are pulling them far, far away? Writers are characterized as dreamers. We either have our noses in a book or our heads in the clouds. I’m forever thinking about people who don’t exist and putting them in impossible situations—how mindful is that?

It’s true, however, that I find the act of writing to be very grounding. When I have my butt in my chair and my fingers on the keyboard, I’m exactly where I should be, and doing exactly what I should be doing. One of the Restless Writers’ favourite quotes is courtesy of Gloria Steinem: “Writing is the only thing that when I do it, I don’t feel I should be doing something else.” That sounds like the very definition of mindfulness.

So maybe there is something to this mindfulness thing for writers after all.

I did some research, and there are some lessons that I can take away from mindfulness when it comes to me and my writing. Here’s my short list of learnings:

  1. Do one thing at a time: We often overestimate how much we can get done in a day. I often boast of my multi-tasking skills, but maybe that just makes me more scattered. When my mind is constantly thinking about the Next Thing I have to do, how do I get the One Thing done? Multi-tasking is the intellectual equivalent of the fidgets—it just wastes energy and doesn’t lead to anything productive. It’s good practice to tamp your enthusiasm down a bit, and focus on seeing one thing through to completion before switching tasks.
  2. Live “in the now:” “The now” and “the here” provide endless wells of inspiration for writers. Going grocery shopping? Grabbing a coffee? Eating lunch at a diner? These are all opportunities to tune in to what is going on around you and to witness how people interact with each other and their environments.
  3. Be mindful with others: Other people are living in the now with you. Put away the distractions and focus on the person you’re with or the people who share your space. Not just because it will help you write better dialogue or create more authentic characters—but also because you don’t want to be a jerk.
  4. Be mindful with yourself: What is distracting you? How do you feel about what you’ve written so far? What are you uncomfortable with? What scares you about what comes next? Can you power through this paragraph or do you need to take a break? Checking in with yourself and your feelings can help you overcome writing obstacles and achieve new insights. Fatigue, frustration, and anxiety can lead to writer’s block, so be alert to when a walk or a sandwich are in order.
  5. Use all your senses: This element of mindfulness practice is fun, although it requires a lot of attention. When you’re engaged in mindful practice—whether you are eating an orange, going for a walk, or folding laundry—it’s an opportunity to enhance your vocabulary and make your writing come alive. Focus on the smell of the orange, the sound of the early-morning birdsong, the texture of those towels. Bring that depth and richness of sensation into your writing.
  6. Unplug from devices: This is always a good idea, and goes along with the practice of doing one thing at a time. Allow yourself to focus on the task of writing itself. Don’t get caught in a social media spiral, or lose the thread of your story by cleaning out your inbox. Use your writing time to write. You can always check your feeds on a break.
  7. Let go of judgment: This element of mindfulness requires you to free yourself from your inner editor/critic/English teacher/asshole, and just let your words flow. Don’t criticize or question your writing as you go. Don’t shrink from a scene that is uncomfortable or painful. Don’t go back and rework a comma or reconsider a snippet of dialogue—just write and see where it takes you. Being mindful when you’re writing means to accept and be grateful for your words and your work.

Mindfulness may have been criticized as just another productivity hack or money-making trend or something that has been co-opted from its more spiritual roots. But practiced with consistency and intent, mindfulness might just make you a better writer.

Maria

Photo by Jonathan Pielmayer on Unsplash.

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by | February 16, 2018 · 2:11 pm

Dispatch from out west

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Last fall, I said good-bye to the hours-long commute, fast-food chains, and crowded shopping malls of southern Ontario, and hello to the small-town living, majestic mountain views, and independent spirit of the BC interior.

I also had to say good-bye to my Restless friends. Or at least good-bye to our in-person meetings filled with food, wine, and conversation. I was sad to go, but also excited about my new adventure.

Four months in, and I am still settling into my new home. I miss my friends and my family every day, but I am also making connections with people in my new community and trying to contribute to the Restless Writers from afar.

Making it work

As Sharon said in her previous post, Restless Across the Miles, long distance relationships take work. But keeping those ties strong is important, so we are making the effort. We have cobbled together a system that works for us. We rely on different kinds of communications technology to keep us connected–from email and texting, to Google Duo and FaceTime. That, and our ongoing dedication to helping each other become better writers, is keeping the spark alive.

It’s not always perfect. The last time I joined a meeting with FaceTime, Beckie said it was a bit like being joined by a robot, with my disembodied face peering from the iPad duct-taped to my customary spot at the table. I have missed the odd joke because of a technical glitch. I have to keep my devices charging or our connection will cut out mid-critique. I definitely miss toasting my friends with prosecco in person, and my virtual attendance means none of Sharon’s baked goods for me. (Insert crying emoji here.)

A change will do you good

But there is also a positive side to me being the Restless Writer who has gone walk-about. I like to think that my long-distance perspective helps to bring new thinking to everyone’s writing. I know it has brought something new to my own. A change can jar you out of your typical habits or patterns of thought, and bring something new to your craft.

A physical move expands your horizons both literally and figuratively—which can ultimately make you a better writer. For me, I am learning to be sensitive to the things that make different regions distinct—and that’s the kind of thing that can give my writing colour and authenticity.

Regional vocabulary is one example. Skookum. Bougie. A skiff of snow. Kootenay time. I am learning new words and phrases that I could use to make dialogue featuring a local character ring true. Place names are also foreign to me—but I am starting to understand when someone talks about “the Valley” or “the Junction.”

The things that people do for fun are new to me too. On any given day, you can make a quick visit to the hot springs, take in a quirky burlesque show in town, or play in legendary powder at a local ski resort.

The natural environment is completely different out here. Growing up on the shores of Lake Ontario meant that I took some things for granted—the morning sun rising slowly and brilliantly over the still water; the gentle rise and fall as you follow the road over the Escarpment; the “lake-effect snow” that makes Ontario highways so treacherous.

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Here, my surroundings continue to surprise me. Like how the mountains look ever-more surreal as I try to follow their smoky march north. How the falling snow gets back-lit by the halo of a street-light. How precisely the river reflects back the treeline. How the snow berm on the mountain pass can tower metres over cars driving through. How the sunshine seems to reach the bottom of the valley for only a few hours a day, and only a few days of the week. Did I mention all the snow?

Small-town BC is very different from suburban Ontario. For example, where once I could shop in happy anonymity at one of the big supercentres in the GTA, here I can’t walk a block without running into three people I know. “Business casual” means something very different out here—Blundstone boots, down jackets, and toques are all included in what is appropriate in the workplace.

There’s a grit to people here. Independent spirit and a yearning for solitude, yes. But also true caring and engagement, a sense that we are all in this together. I am learning more about my new community—and appreciating it more—every day.

Disruption and making it new

Disrupt it all

My job as a writer is to take note of the people around me. Not just what they wear or how they talk, but the things they care about and what makes them tick. I want to know what brought them to this place, and what keeps them here. What makes this community thrive? And what secrets does it hold? Anything that jolts you into looking at the world with fresh eyes can help you do this.

You probably don’t have to make a 3,000-kilometre move to disrupt your way of thinking, but hey, I like to go all-in.

I can use my fresh perspective to capture what makes this place so distinct, to think differently about the people and the world around me, and to ultimately tell a great story. Hopefully I can bring a bit of that “make it new” insight to the Restless Writers too.

With warm wishes from out west,

Maria

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by | September 15, 2017 · 9:34 am

Get thee to Stratford for writing inspiration and instruction this fall

Bridge over Avon River, Stratford, Ontario by Ken Lund

The Restless Writers are suckers for writing retreats and conferences, so we are super stoked to help spread the word about exciting opportunities this fall for writers to hear from award-winning authors and dig deeper into their own projects.

Attend all or part of a writers’ festival

If you haven’t made plans yet to attend the Stratford Writers Festival, what the heck are you doing with your life? It’s happening October 20-22, 2017, in Stratford, Ontario.

This year’s line-up includes events and sessions with authors including Heather O’Neill, Scaachi Koul, Kerry Clare, Jennifer Robson, Glenn Dixon, Eden Robinson and Terry Fallis. The venues are all in downtown Stratford, so expect to be inspired not just by the special guests but also by the surroundings.

Visit the Stratford Writers Festival website for all the details or buy your tickets today.

Sign up for a writing retreat

If—woe betide!—you can’t make the festival but still want to gain inspiration and instruction for your own writing, check out the Write Now Retreats taking place on October 23-25 and October 30-November 1.

The Write Now Retreats are open to writers at any stage in their work. Whether you’re still at the idea stage or you have the words “The End” in sight, you will benefit from these intimate and insightful sessions.

There are four different retreats available for registration:

  • Writing Technique and Creativity Retreat with Kim Echlin, October 23-25
  • Memoir Writing Retreat with Alison Wearing, October 23-25
  • Finesse Your Next Draft Writing Retreat with Farzana Doctor, October 30-November 1
  • How to Write a Cookbook Retreat with Theresa Albert, October 30-November 1

The retreats provide instruction from award-winning authors who also teach regularly, access to one-on-one coaching with the instructor, creativity techniques to keep up the momentum on your projects, support from fellow writers, time to write, and world-class accommodations in downtown Stratford.

There is a comprehensive list of FAQs on the Write Now Retreat website where you can learn more.

I’ve got my eye on the retreat with Kim Echlin. Which one speaks to you and your goals? Check out the website for all the details, and register soon—there are only a limited number of spots.

Go the DIY route

If you don’t have the time or resources to attend these structured writing events, take a tip from the Restless Writers and plan your own one-day retreat. Wherever you are in your writing or your life, you can make space to pursue your creative goals.

Happy writing!

Maria

Photo: Bridge over Avon River, Stratford, Ontario, by Ken Lund, available under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 2.0 Generic license.

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by | March 8, 2017 · 4:30 pm

On the collective wonderfulness of the women of the Restless Writers

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We Restless Writers have been on our collective writing adventure since spring 2009. Although our composition has changed a bit since we started out—with some writers choosing different paths and new writers joining us for this wild ride—we have always been made up of female members.

I don’t think this was intentional; it was just the way things worked out. I’m sure if we crossed paths with the right male writer—and we probably can’t describe what right means in any satisfactory way—we would welcome him into the fold. Although that would certainly change the tenor of conversation at our meetings.

For now, we are a tight-knit group of women, and we like it that way.

In honour of International Women’s Day, I’d like to highlight seven reasons why the women of the Restless Writers make for a supportive and rewarding writing group.

  • It’s a safe space to talk, create and share. Sharing your writing can be scary, and opening your creative work up to critique can make you feel awfully vulnerable. For me, sharing my work with the women of the Restless Writers makes me feel bold and brave. I trust their unconditional support, no matter what outside-the-box idea I bring to the table.
  • Critique is tactful, caring and insightful. We have perfected the technique of giving positive feedback, followed by constructive criticism, and wrapping up with encouragement to keep going. (It’s our version of “the shit sandwich.”) Our goal is to nurture the writing flame—not stamp out the spark.
  • Our meetings are very well catered. (Plus, oh, the wine!) Food is love. Some of the Restless Writers are wonderful cooks, and they aim to have us leave each meeting with full bellies and warm hearts. (And often in the care of a designated driver.) We invariably attend meetings wearing stretchy pants, and no one minds.
  • We swap clothes and books. One perk of having an all-female group is that we can, from time to time, foist unwanted clothes off on each other. I have cleared out many closets this way. I can also pass on books that have lifted my spirits, granted me insight, made me cry, or opened my eyes. We like to share.
  • Craftiness is encouraged. Every year around Christmas, we gather together to toast the season and make something Martha-Stewarty. Most recently, we made yarn balls. The year before that, it was rustic sign boards. Whatever we get up to, you can be sure it involves glue, glitter and giggles.
  • We get to connect with other women writers. We have a bunch of awesome women writers who follow us here (thanks for visiting, by the way!), and our larger networks are made up of women who tell stories, make art, and otherwise create wonderful things. Whether we meet up virtually or actually, and whether it happens just once or on a regular basis, we love having a squad of creative ladies to call on for encouragement.
  • We don’t compete; we support. Each Restless Writer is working on a different kind of project. From fiction, memoir and personal essay, to poetry, performance and beyond, our endeavours run the gamut of creative expression. And that’s one of the best features of our group. We don’t come to meetings and share our work and offer critiques to write better than each other—we do it so we can write better, period.

The women of the Restless Writers are my friends, allies, cheerleaders and accountability partners. We lift each other up and help our voices soar. We console each other when emotions get the better of us, and we toast each other when we achieve a milestone. We encourage each other to tell the stories we were born to tell, and guide each other gently towards our goals.

On this International Women’s Day, I’d like to recognize the immeasurable awesomeness that the ladies of the Restless Writers have brought into my life. And I hope you take a moment to thank the women in your life who have done the same for you.

With love and gratitude.

Maria

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