Category Archives: Life and stuff

by | August 3, 2010 · 5:04 pm

How Tweet It Is…

We are the Restless Writers and we are Twitterholics.

Maria, Beckie and Lori's initial reactions to Twitter

Whether we’re toiling the summer away on patios while sipping Mojitos, or in basements sweating over queries (note: put the two together!), there’s one constant to be found: we’re taking regular breaks to tweet, see who #FF us, check for new followers, or just read everyone else’s stuff. Pavlov would be proud.

We were tentative at first, putting out little missives announcing blog postings. Then we slowly began following other writers, agents and interesting celebrities. Now, we ourselves have a sassy cadre of followers with whom we banter regularly. And if you look at who we’re following (as well as who follows us), it’s very telling of our personalities:

Beckie is currently shopping around a kick-ass proposal for a non-fiction environmental book aimed at younger audiences. Her lists include YA / MG writers and agents; greenies (those with an environmental slant) and book bloggers.

Maria is our literary empress, PR maven and indexing dynamo with a penchant for short stories. Her list is as diverse as she is – everyone from Seth Myers to Simon & Shuster (UK) to AintYoMamasBlog.

Lori is the stay-at-home-mom and pop culture junkie who is querying her women’s lit manuscript. Her list is full of the usual suspects: agents; funny writer-types; and any celebrity not on a reality television show.

There’s definitely some cross-over (hot hitchhikers traversing the globe, line forms on the left), but that’s true of us as well – during our last meeting we marveled at how such different women, writing in such different genres, could enjoy each other so much.

Who should we follow on Twitter? Is it you? Let us know in the comments!

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by | July 23, 2010 · 7:33 am

My burnout recovery strategy…and other tips for over-worked writers

I just wrapped up several hellish weeks that included a busy schedule at work, some rush freelance work, writing group activities, a dozen birthday parties, one sick cat and a herniated disk. I have a feeling that final item was brought on by everything else. 

Those few weeks capped off a busy year that never seemed to take a breather. It wasn’t the kind of stress that a glass of wine and good night’s sleep could fix. I felt worn out every day. Some days I questioned what I had been thinking when I decided to pursue my writing. I found myself wishing for swine flu just so I could have a few days to do nothing but sleep. 

Being in a creative field means that you are vulnerable to burnout. It’s not the kind of work where you can simply check your brain into a locker, slog through your eight hours, and then reinstall your brain at the end of your shift. And for those who fit their writing in after an eight-hour-or-more slog…let’s just say that carpal tunnel isn’t the only thing you have to worry about.

Burnout can lead to long-term health problems that can spill over into all areas of your life. But here’s the good news: there are things you can do to prevent and treat burnout.

HelpGuide.org has some great resources for dealing with burnout. This resource takes the “Three Rs” approach to burnout: how to Recognize it, Reverse it, and build your Resilience.

For me, I found three things that really helped:

1. Learning to say “no”. I’m a people-pleaser by nature, and as a part-time freelancer, it’s like cutting off my arm to have to turn down a paycheque. But no typing means no working; no working means no income; and no income means I have to cancel HBO. So some “preventative nay-saying” was my first step.

2. Getting professional help. Luckily, my injury was in the early stages and some treatment will have me back up and working in no time. (Update: Chiropractic treatment? Meh. Massage treatment? Heavenly.)

3. Leaning on my informal support group. If I didn’t have the Restless Writers (even their odd new habit of calling me “Sultry Monkey”), I wouldn’t have any outlet for the stress of juggling a day-job and the writing life. Lori and Beckie—and yes, all our blog visitors and Twitter folk—are all a part of my mental-health care action team. I’m grateful to have you.

Thankfully, I’m on the mend. Have you had an experience with burnout? How did it happen? And how did you deal?

Maria

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by | July 19, 2010 · 7:59 am

Restless Writin’ Rebel


Last week was a big one for this Restless Writer, with two major happenings: first, I launched my blog (www.loridyan.com), where I can wax poetic on such lofty topics as middle-aged bra shopping and the perils of giving up sugar; the second, a direct result of the former, was getting my site flagged via Facebook as offensive.

As many writers know, the moment you start putting your work out there (through the web, public readings, or print), it’s fair game for people to judge. The idea of someone evaluating your best efforts can be terrifying, but the exhilaration that results from connecting with a reader can’t be beat.

Finding out that a person had taken the time to report me, because he or she was so offended by what I’d thought was funny writing, was a soul-crushing feeling. Like being kicked in the spiritual nuts.

I wanted to turn off the computer, put down the pen and never write again. All of the positive comments from those discovering my words didn’t matter in the face of such public rejection.

I soon gave myself a reality check – being dissed by a disgruntled relative or friend-of-a-friend wasn’t so bad. It’s not like I’d had a fatwa placed on my writing. Also, if I’m going to be a professional fiction writer, I need to get a thicker – I’m talking rhino thick – skin. Reviews will never be uniformly positive (they may even be uniformly negative) and I must learn to take the bad with the good, or at least ignore it. So really, this whole episode was a wonderful lesson. A gift, even.

But then, as often happens, I got feisty. And a feisty Restless Writer is not to be messed with. I promptly dashed off this comment on the (now defunct) post link:

Apparently someone reported my blog link as offensive. It can be accessed here: loridyan (dot) com. Whoever it is that finds me so offensive, may I suggest that you either don’t click the link or perhaps read the sentence in context (not just the word “clock”, which was mispronounced without the “L” by a 3 yr old). Also, you can suck it.

I’ve promised myself that, should I ever be lucky enough to have my work professionally reviewed, I will never tell any critics, not matter how critical they are, to suck it. But I can still think it.

Lori

How do you deal with negative reviews?

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Filed under Life and stuff, Motivation, Starting up, Success stories, Trials and Tribulations

by | July 14, 2010 · 8:29 pm

Your blog is being used to predict the future

In the time it takes you to read this sentence, more than a thousand tweets will have been twittered and dozens of blogs posted (according to Jim Giles @NewScientist). Most of it is fluff, yet possible this information will be used to make predictions about our society. And you thought you were just rambling senselessly…

Okay, so a rather serious post for Restless Writers, but hey – you’re still reading! And this IS a blog! It’s true, research scientists are analysing the population’s state of mind by looking through blogs and tweets. They are being used to forecast sales of homes, cars, products and even how the stock market may behave. Blogs are providing a sample of what is going on in society.

Even more bizarre, your words (a.k.a. web data) are being analysed to create an index of national “mood.” This is called the Anxiety Index—a measure of frequency with which a range of words related to apprehension (e.g. nervous) appears in your posts. Same goes for twitter; it holds similar predictive power.

I am relatively new to the whole blog & tweet world, and of course, once online, it’s inevitable that we are all being mined. So knowing this, will I change my tweets or blogposts? Absolutely not. Nor should you. What a wonderful world we live in that we may speak and express ourselves freely.

Blog away. Tweet til dawn.

In the words of Voltaire, “think for yourselves and let others enjoy the privilege to do so, too.”

Beckie

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by | June 25, 2010 · 10:55 am

We’re Ready For Our Close Up

Who is your celebrity doppelganger? Do people tell you so-and-so should play you in a movie? My best one was Marissa Tomei. The worst? Rosie O’Donnell. Also, after I got an unfortunate haircut in the late 90’s, Monica Lewinsky (seriously – I was stopped in the street about it).

Being a fiction writer and pop culture junkie, I’m always holding casting sessions in my mind for my stories. (FYI, Nia Vardalos, you are the lead in my manuscript, along with Bradley Cooper. You’re welcome.)

At our most recent, booze-infused meeting, the topic came up of who we would want to play us in a movie, tentatively titled “Champagne: A Love Story”.

First up, Maria.

This one was easy: Christina Hendricks. They each have beautiful crimson tresses, quiet intelligence and an impressive rack. Also, both can rock the naughty secretary thing like nobody’s business.

Casting Beckie was a bit more tricky.

We tossed out Mena Suvari, Alicia Silverstone and Kate Hudson. But to me, they’re too ingénue. Too obvious. Our little Beckie has some seriously delicious quirks that those ladies don’t capture for me. So, Leelee Sobieski it is. She’s super cute and you just know her still waters run very deep.

And me?

I’m gonna go with Nigella Lawson. Sure, she’s not an actress, but she’s got big-ass hair, isn’t afraid to show some cleavage (hers real, mine more of an optical illusion) and is a mad demon in the kitchen.

And, in case you haven’t noticed, food plays a vital role in a Restless Writers’ meeting, much like New York City is the fourth character in Sex and the City.

Who would play you in the movie of you?

Lori

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by | June 12, 2010 · 7:58 pm

FIFA fo fum

FIFA-fo-fum,
I smell the blood of a futball fan,
Be he kicking, or be he falling
I’ll match his cheers, lest he be balling!
 
– W. O. Scattolon (12-June-2010)

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by | June 11, 2010 · 6:32 am

Writing Roots

Beckie wrote about when she writes, which got me thinking about where I write.

I’m writing this blog post at the hairdresser. I have a ridiculous amount of hair (think Witch Hazel of Bugs Bunny fame) that was gray before I hit thirty. At forty, a swathe of sidewalk-gray roots is visible every 3 weeks. My point being, I spend a lot of time – not to mention money – at my salon.

The upshot of this is that the hairdresser’s chair affords me the opportunity to write, uninterrupted, for almost an hour (as long as I can resist the siren song of People and Vanity Fair).

Being in such a public yet confined space, I’m surrounded by fascinating characters and conversations – many have made their way into my writing. I know coffee shops are a haven for countless writers; one friend writes her best work in the tub; many find inspiration at pubs or lounges (note to self: must try that).

Where do you do your best writing?

Lori

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by | June 9, 2010 · 9:47 pm

Night Writers: Birds of a Different Feather

What hath night to do with sleep?
~John Milton

Do your best ideas occur at night? Do you enjoy writing at the weirdest hours of the day when rationality ceases to rule?

Your ability to work (& when) is genetically encoded and cannot be erased. Scientists have long known that early and late risers have genetic differences. Our preference for early rising (an A-person or lark) and late rising (a B-person or owl) is as genetically determined as eye or hair colour. Creative people are not lazy or sinister or vampiric just because their circadian rhythm is different from most people!

I am a night writer. And I am not alone. Researchers say 10% of us are extreme owls, 10% are extreme larks and the remaining 80 % fall in between. Yet, I am a night owl in a 9 – 5 job (help!), which can present its challenges since our work culture is biased towards the rhythms of the average lark (a bit “sleepist,” yes).

I live for the day when my existence is not dictated by an alarm clock. In the meantime, in an effort to help my fellow writers of the night live comfortably in an early bird world, I offer the following.

7 Random Resources for Night Owls:

You share your Night Owl status with: Winston Churchill, Thomas Hardy, Catherine O’Hara, T.S. Eliot, Edgar Allan Poe, Keith Richards, and Elvis Presley.

Once an owl, always an owl!

Beckie

Also see Viva La B-Revolution: How to be a B-person and not get fired

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by | June 4, 2010 · 3:58 pm

Restless Writin’ Mama

Last night my fellow Restless Writers (both child-free) e-mailed me after work asking if I’d join them for an impromptu drink. I replied that I couldn’t because…how did I put it?…oh yes – my kids were being assholes.

This is where it should be noted that I love my children (honestly!) and normally adore being with them. My family has been the main catalyst that got me writing – I finally had the time (typing while nursing is an art), endless material and, most importantly, the confidence to try. (Because let me tell you, after pushing out a ten-pounder with only half the epidural kicking in, you can do a.n.y.t.h.i.n.g.)

It doesn’t diminish the fact that most parents feel that, from time to time, their precious darlings are acting a bit…well…ass’ish.

I won’t bore you with the details (grape popsicles on bedroom carpets and make-up in the toilet), but it really drove home a question that Beckie and Maria have brought up: How in the name of Huggies do mothers find the time to write?

I spent over a year writing my manuscript with a newborn and four-year-old, which sounds a bit insane. I’ve spent the three years since revising and querying my manuscript, which sounds a bit sad.

I’ve written late into the night and early in the morning (conclusion: no one can write coherently at 4:00 a.m., except maybe monks). I work from home and, with one kid at school and the other napping, I desperately try to cram a full work day into those two hours (all of this while – not to sound too Betty Draper about it – trying to cook and clean for my family). So people look at me and wonder, when do I have time to write for me and why – at this point in my life – do I even bother trying?

My world is currently filled with constant demands on my time. My attention. My effort. At this point, I can’t not write, because it’s my outlet. My indulgence. My sanity.

I look – as ever – to Judy Blume, who wrote her first book at the kitchen table while her kids were at school. I’ve also heard that Kelley Armstrong wrote Bitten during her lunch hour at work while pregnant with her second child. Even Stephen King had to retreat to the loo of his camper to find the solitude required to finish Carrie.

My point being, you find a way. You multi-task. You write because you, my fellow harried parent, are a writer.

Lori

p.s. Feel free to vent in the comments!

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by | May 31, 2010 · 9:03 pm

21 Tips for Writers (10 + 11 = 21)

A great post landed in my Twitter account today—a must share with fellow restless writers.

From tweet to post: 21 Tips for Writers by Australian writer, Jodi Cleghorn (inspired by: Emerging Writers Festival, Melbourne) is a terrific read, and even better chuckle.  Jodi believes that “writing is writing—whether you’re a song writer, a journalist, an academic, a poet, a film maker or a novelist – and there are commonalities to the creative process of writing and how to make it work for you.”

Check it out: 21 Tips for Writers

  • Defend your work and keep your creative dignity – learn to say no/no way/go f*ck yourself – because no one else will stand up for your work.
  • Don’t show your work to family and friends – you will erroneously become attached to what they think is brilliant – which in fact is likely to be absolute crap.
  • Back yourself – don’t ask for permission to do what you want to do.
  • Look after yourself – writing will ruin your health – so take care – consider writing standing up (apparently Hemingway did this) and making use of pen and paper rather than chaining yourself to a computer.
  • Persevere – your yell is someone else’s whisper and whispers are pervasive, it will get heard – work on several projects – this keeps you energised and working creatively even when one project isn’t firing.
  • Get to know your process – work out when and where you work best and do it your own way – try to write every day, even if just for a few minutes and carry a note-book with you so ideas don’t escape you.
  • Don’t hold back and don’t protect yourself – say things no one else has said before – turn off the inner critic/editor.
  • Cultivate a community of writers – writing can be a lonely enterprise, but it doesn’t need to be – other writers understand where you are, what you’re thinking and feeling.
  • Build an audience online – utilise a website or a blog to connect with readers – capture them through a mailing list – don’t be afraid to give away free stuff.
  • Go out and live your life – do not allow yourself to become stuck in a hole of your own creativity – especially when you’re creatively blocked – being in the real world is the best antidote.

Okay, seriously I can count. This is only 10. For the remaining 11 visit Write Anything. And while you’re there, check out their weekly #fictionfriday challenge.

How can you incorporate these tips into YOUR writing life? 

Beckie

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