Category Archives: Life and stuff

by | February 2, 2014 · 8:38 pm

Getting to done: Applying writing advice to my life

“To be everywhere is to be nowhere.”
Seneca

I’m having a problem focusing these days.

This comes as no surprise to my fellow Restless Writers, to whom I have been promising a fresh new blog post since the holidays.

The symptoms of my lack of focus are not limited to delayed blog posts. I’m also finding that I can’t read a whole book. I went from neglecting a new novel, to not being able to finish a short story, to skipping whole paragraphs in Globe & Mail articles. Even my Twitter feed has started to feel like too much pressure.

And it’s not just reading. I have a to-do list as long as a Canadian winter, enough Post-It Note reminders to wallpaper my guest bathroom, and so many evening appointments and meetings that I am thisclose to forgetting what the inside of my fridge looks like. The idea of replacing the light bulb in my kitchen seems overwhelming but I know I have to do it soon because it’s hard to make G&Ts  coffee in the dark. (Hard, but not impossible.)

Many of you know that my life has taken some turns over the past six months. I’m not surprised that all these changes have affected my day-to-day life in some way, but I didn’t expect that I would turn into a slack-jawed scatterbrain. I can’t seem to finish anything I start, and hunkering down to write seems impossible.

So what to do about it?

In my search for ways to tame my monkey-brain, I turned—of course—to other writers. Who better to advise on how to focus, since so many writers struggle with the fidgets and a perverse inability to just sit down and get ‘er done already.

Here are some of the best tips I’ve culled from the Interwebs about focusing on your writing. I’ve re-jigged them so they will help me focus on my to-do list and hopefully help me read (and eventually write) that book.

Block out time, not tasks: Getting to a word count goal can seem daunting, but telling yourself that you’ll write for an hour is manageable. Likewise, if I give myself an hour in which I can tackle, say, roaming around Home Depot, it might be easier than telling myself I have to choose the perfect light fixture today.

Be mindful of distractions: You can’t avoid distractions, whether you’re writing or trying to put together an IKEA shelf. The phone will ring, emails will keep coming in, and Rob Ford will inevitably do something stupid and burn up your feeds. Identify what distracts you the most. Is it Twitter? Indulge for five minutes, but then shut it down. Text messages? Put your phone in another room. Coffee craving? Keep a carafe full of hot tasty brew on your desk so you’re not forced to hit a local Starbucks.

Say “no”: This one’s hard. Writers are very protective of their time, and often have to employ drastic measures to make sure the world doesn’t keep them from their keyboard. These days, I am trying to fill my life with people and events, so saying “no” to an invitation gives me a bit of anxiety. I have to remember that saying “no” when I feel overwhelmed will help me save my energy for when I am ready to enjoy an activity or someone’s company. (Yes, this includes dates.)

Have an accountability partner: Writers share word counts and pages all the time. Maybe I’m doing the same thing by writing about my challenges and efforts to succeed right here. I may have to call on my sisters and friends to check in and make sure I’m chipping away at life.

Track the resistance: What is it about finding the perfect light fixture that’s so goddamned difficult? The parking lot? The bone-deep chill of winter? The crush of people? Whatever it is, I need to pay attention to where the barrier is, so I can figure out a way to get around it. It’s like with writer’s block—I need to figure out what’s keeping me from moving forward.

Treat yourself: Let’s say I do manage to find that perfect light fixture when I go to Home Depot on my lunch break. Just as when I finish a writing task (like finishing this blog post–yay!), checking that off my to-do list deserves a minor celebration, whether it’s a fancy coffee or a mini-iTunes shopping spree.

Do a little every day: I can’t do everything in one day—which pisses me off a bit—so I have to give my controlling self a break. I need to celebrate the little wins, keep checking things off my to-do list, and remember that things will get easier.

What’s the best writing advice you’ve heard that you can also apply to your life?

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by | February 4, 2013 · 10:20 pm

A message for today

This might not be aligned properly. And it might be blurry too. But it doesn’t matter. Today, our group needs this message.

We hope it resonates with you too.

overcome

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Filed under Life and stuff, Motivation

by | December 3, 2012 · 8:49 pm

‘Tis the season for some woowoo

We (Restless Writers) are preparing for our Christmas meeting.

Lori is our host and has promised us the four food groups: booze, cheese, bread, and sugar. No doubt, eggnog and butter tarts will also make an appearance. Lori has promised something else too, something just as magnificent: a tarot or angel card reading. This is the woowoo part of our meeting.

Some of you might know the “woowoo” as an alcoholic beverage consisting of vodka, peach schnapps, and cranberry juice—others might know it as a reference to almost any form of unconventional thought. I think Deepak Chopra would agree that both work. Whatever your new-age pleasure, ’tis the season to indulge: yoga, reiki, meditation, clairvoyance, shamanic journeying, energy healing or whatever it is you do to find balance. Yay to the mind-body-spirit connection.

The woowoo is also for writers, and is absolutely essential to health and well-being. So, in honour of the woowoo this month, I wanted to share the following blessing for writers, by author Lisa Gardner.

At this time of year, I think we can all use an extra blessing. This one is for you.

A Writer’s Blessing

May you always remember the thrill of being swept away by a really good book.

May the words you’re typing on the page be as worthy as the words running through your mind.

May your deadline be behind you.

May a good story lie ahead of you.

And as we go forth,

May you always enjoy the journey to finding those two perfect words. The End.

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by | May 25, 2012 · 12:47 pm

The things I do when I should be writing

For most of us, making time to write will always be something of a struggle. With family, friends, and financial obligations all vying for our attention, it takes determination to put pen to paper.

This past week, I found myself with the time to write. But I did not write. Instead, I gave myself permission to make time for life. And this is what I did.

Shoveled dirt like a Duchess.

Constructed raised vegetable gardens with my husband.

Planted pine trees and pear trees.

Hung laundry on the clothesline.

Enjoyed fireworks from the front yard.

Watched movies, both equally strange but good.

But the best part? I SLEPT IN!

BJas

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by | February 10, 2012 · 11:24 pm

Your life in 6 words

According to the literary legend, novelist Ernest Hemingway was once challenged in a bar to write a story in only six words. He wrote, “For sale: baby shoes, never worn.”

If you were asked to sum up your life in six words, could you do it? I was challenged with this recently and it’s been an interesting exercise. I wrote a bunch of bios, then a bunch more. It was surprising how many I could come up with, some poetic, some funny, and some that resembled silly haikus. All of them a bit out of the ordinary, yet candid and concise.

Here’s one of them:

Artist trapped in civil servant’s body. ~ Beckie

After jotting down a dozen for myself, I took it further and extended the challenge to the Restless Writers and here’s what I got:

Strives for perfection, stymied by procrastination. ~ Maria

Writer wannabe, ‘cuz I hate housework. ~ Lori

Of course, I stumbled upon many more (like this) out there. The online magazine Smith asked its readers to do the same. The result was Not Quite What I Was Planning, a collection of six-word memoirs by famous and not-so-famous writers, artists, and musicians.

Here are a few of them:

No future, no past. Not lost. ~ Matt Brensilver

Catholic school backfired. Sin is in! ~ Nikki Beland

Well, I thought it was funny. ~ Stephen Colbert

Deceptively simple. Surprisingly addictive. The profound brevity of these bios leaves you knowing so much, and yet somehow leaves you wanting more. Give it a try, the experience of capturing real-life stories in six words is an insightful one.

What’s your six-word bio? We invite you to leave it in the comments section.

BJas

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by | January 3, 2012 · 4:35 pm

Five ways to start your own writing group—or crash one

The Restless Writers are often approached by people looking for a writing group to join. For the most part, these writers want what we’ve got—a kick-ass little troop that is supportive, energetic, thoughtful, caring, and hells-to-the-yeah fun.

Here’s what we tell these would-be Restless Writers about finding or starting a group of their own:

Dear [Would-be Restless Writer]:

The Restless Writers are a group of three women who get together in person on a semi-regular basis to share and critique pages, act as sounding boards for new ideas, kvetch about our husbands, and drink wine. We think we’re a collective hoot. We think we make each other better writers. 

We love meeting people like us who write and live and tear out their hair trying to do both well. However, we’re not really a formal writing group with rules and deadlines and firm meeting dates, which makes us irritating as hell if you’re looking for structure.

Trying to find a writing group can be like online dating, except with a greater chance of hooking up with sociopaths. You want to find people who have good writing skills, creativity, passion, joy, and intuition. Plus great hair and awesome personalities. We were lucky.

Here are five ways to find a writing group you can call your own:

1) Check out http://quick-brown-fox-canada.blogspot.com/ and subscribe to Brian Henry’s e-newsletter (and sign up for one of his workshops too if you’re in Ontario). You could place a call-out in his newsletter for writing peeps in your area. Note: This worked for us.

2) Make friends with an independent bookstore in your neighbourhood. We’re lucky to have A Different Drummer Books and Bryan Prince Bookseller close by, both with plenty of events throughout the year to enjoy and meet other writers at. Even the big-box booksellers have events.

3) Your local library is a great resource—attend a reading, enter a writing contest, or talk to a librarian to see if they know of a local group.

4) Keep an eye on your community newspaper for announcements about writing events. You may even find an article about a certain Restless Writer who was recently interviewed… (ahem, it’s Beckie! As soon as it’s online we’ll pressure her to post the link.).

5) Talk to people! You’ll never know if your co-worker’s husband’s best friend is a writer who’s also looking for a writing group…unless you ask. Shelve your shyness and mingle!

We wish you the best of luck at finding a super-supportive writing group that helps you be the best writer you can be.

Maria

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by | October 5, 2011 · 6:58 am

Doing a NYC Writing Conference on Eighty Dollars a Day

For three days in November I will be attending the Backspace Writers Conference in New York [insert squee’ing sound here]. This is my first conference and I am determined to do it as affordably as possible without sleeping at a bus terminal.

I lucked out getting a fantastically cheap flight as well as the early bird registration price for the conference. This leaves me with just under three hundred dollars for two nights in a hotel if I’m going to keep to my self-imposed budget.

Unfortunately, I have formed (thanks to Beckie and her wealth of information) a minor bed bug phobia. She linked me to a registry that lists all hotels with reported bed bugs and a quick glance confirmed that those little critters are swarming the Big Apple.

The conference organizers suggested looking at various accommodation options because their hotel was offering a “special” rate of over three hundred dollars per night. Paying so much to get gnawed on did not appeal to me, so I started searching online for alternatives.

Enter airbnb.com, where people who have space to spare connect with those who are looking for a place to stay. People can rent space on a couch in someone’s studio apartment on the Lower East Side for thirty dollars a night or spend four thousand dollars for an entire mansion in the Hamptons.

I was intrigued, yet skeptical. I liked the idea of staying in someone’s personal space because I assume it will be cleaner and less…used…than a hotel room that serves hundreds of guests a year. I didn’t like the idea of being in someone’s home in case s/he was waiting for me in a closet with a meat cleaver.

At Airbnb, hosts must post a profile of themselves and their space, as well as an availability calendar and guest reviews, but I still needed to confirm that it wasn’t a scam for potential Craigslist killers looking for fresh hunting grounds. I contacted a few of the reviewers to ask about their experiences and they assured me that they’d also felt a bit weird at first, but the operation was completely legit.

I booked a sweet little (i.e. standing with my arms outstretched I’m sure I’ll be touching either wall) studio for seventy-five dollars a night. The owner is a young girl who has another apartment in the building and she’s been a resource on everything from airport transportation (twelve dollars to take a twenty-minute train ride from Newark instead of seventy dollars for an hour-long cab ride) to great restaurants (a Cuban place around the corner).

After speaking to the owner I felt great about my booking, but my husband was still suspicious. Then he used Airbnb himself on a recent trip to Germany and apparently we’ll now be using them for all future holiday rentals. He stayed in a beautiful two-bedroom apartment for only eighty-five dollars a night and loved it. It turns out, the home-share concept is much more commonplace and popular in Europe. Until it catches on here it’ll be our little secret, okay?

LD

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by | September 30, 2011 · 2:03 pm

Hollywood calling…and waiting on the one

Taking the lead from our wordbitches friends, and given that fall is staring me in the face, I thought I would recap what I wrote this summer and set my goals for fall.

As for my writing summer, it all started with a phone call from Hollywood. A major studio was interested in a screenplay that I co-wrote. I can’t believe I just typed that. The script required a slew of revisions. So, we revised, we stressed, we cried, we screamed, we revised some more—then we resubmitted. This script (a psychological thriller) generated increased interest, particularly in other genre samples. So, we dusted another script off (this time, a sci-fi/comedy) and polished the hell out of it. Then, we were asked, “what else are you working on?” GULP. So, we resurrected yet another script (a mythological horror). Are you counting here? This is screenplay number three in the span of a month. Lesson: when pitching, always have at least three projects ready to pimp.

I can tell you that three’s a charm. The response from the studio was that’s “the one.” So, naturally, we revised some more. Lots more. And into the wee hours of every. single. night. My summer was a blur. We managed to turn a solid treatment into a polished, albeit draft, screenplay. The experience was excruciating and even unbearable at times, yet somehow gratifying beyond belief. This screenplay now sits in the hands of fate and we wonder if it has that x factor; will it be “the one?”

While I was engaged in this process, I was also doing revisions with my agent in response to publisher feedback on a picture book (currently on submission). And again, I revise. And I wait. I’m almost certain my next flurry of revisions will be on my middle grade novel which is also ‘somewhere out there’ on submission. Lesson: fall in love with your characters because you will be spending a very long time with them.

Between revisions and more revisions, I also managed to paint an entire house, landscape @LoriDyan’s backyard, tend a vegetable garden, plant fifty trees, read three novels (not enough), contract a flu (followed by an eye infection), reno a kitchen, tremclad the house, build a shed with the hubs, attend Pilates each week, and let’s not forget—work full time.

I need a vacation from my summer. Hear that, universe?

On that note, I formulate my goals for fall as I do every year at this time.

Here goes:

1) Plan a fruitful and wordalicious writing retreat with the Restless Writers.

2) Review my MG novel (a hefty yet inevitable task). Oh, the revisions I’ll make!

3) Put a serious word-count-dent in my new YA novel.

4) Begin book 2 of a 3-book children’s picture book series. Book 1 was published in Spring, see it here.

5) Promote Chicken Soup for the Soul: Oh Canada where my story, From Vile to Vegas appears, to be published this November.

6) Plan my Oscar speech? (okay, so a girl can dream)

What are your writing goals for Fall? Are you waiting on “the one?” 

BJas

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by | September 15, 2011 · 5:03 pm

Plan the Work and Work the Plan (unless you can’t, in which case…whatever)

This past summer was one of the best for me and my family, full of relaxing days at the lake and fun adventures. Aside from one great week in July, I took a holiday from working on my manuscripts. Like Trish over at Word Bitches, I looked forward to getting back to my work in September, once my kids were in school. I’m now a week into my plan and things are going…not great.

Last year my daughter was in school for two mornings a week and I worked part-time from home, yet I managed to crank out a decent number of words in those six hours. She’s now gone every morning—which frees up 20 hours a week—plus I was laid off in August. In theory I should be writing non-stop. The reality is very different. Here’s how the first week of school mornings has gone down:

Day One
I went straight from the school drop-off straight to the hairdresser, reasoning that the glare of my grey roots on my monitor was too blinding for me to focus on the screen. Bought groceries on the way home (the Serb someone scarfed all of the lunch treats).

Day Two
The Serb is self-employed and I’m his de facto secretary. He informed me that he would be going to Europe for business in two days, leaving me to book his hotel (sold out), flight (ditto) and car (“Can you get me a Mercedes for under $80 a day?”). I do this because making his trip go smoothly increases my chances of getting something other than airport Toblerone for a present.

Day Three
A friend visiting from Australia could only see me on this particular morning. There may have been maple-flavoured Timbits involved. What am I…made of stone?

Day Four/Five
Weekend. On my own with the kids. Didn’t have time to shower, let alone write.

Day Six
The morning was spent cleaning up the aftermath of having both kids home on a rainy weekend. In addition, I bought more groceries (see also: stress eating).

Day Seven
I received a call that kitchen countertops we ordered a month ago were in and that I needed to buy a new sink/faucet before installation could take place. The morning was wasted at Home Depot, where I stared at a wall of chrome for 90 minutes.

Day Eight
I confirmed with a contractor dude that counters would be installed the following day. Spent the morning emptying all kitchen cupboards, then returned the sink/faucet bought the day before in search of something less…chromey.

Day Nine
My husband will be home tonight and until then, I’m dealing with this all day:

Oh well, tomorrow is another day, right? RIGHT?!?!?

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by | July 13, 2011 · 8:16 am

Beautiful Goodbye

Sherwood Schwartz died yesterday at the age of 94. For those of us who grew up glued to a TV set in the 70s, “Sherwood Schwartz, Executive Producer” may have been the first words we learned to read. He was the prolific writer behind Gilligan’s Island and Brady Bunch, among other things.

Many people judge a successful writer as one who stands the test of time, resonating with readers hundreds of years after publication. I’m not suggesting that the writings of Mr. Schwartz are up there with Ms. Austen; however, my children have just discovered Gilligan’s Island and they can’t get enough of it. It was one of my favourite shows growing up, too. And my mom loved watching it before I was even born.

Mr. Schwartz wrote a farewell letter that was to be published upon his death (source: http://www.hollywoodreporter.com). Here is the letter, which offers his humorous and timeless insights into writing. And living.

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