Category Archives: Trials and Tribulations

Do you DIY?

(names changed to protect the innocent)

Recently, my niece, Holly, made a black cat pinata from scratch for Halloween. Did you read that? A pinata FROM SCRATCH! She didn’t buy it at the Bulk Barn or Party City. She handmade it. What the?!

Of course, she captured and shared the step-by-step magic on Instagram. I marveled at it – her ingenuity, her patience. Hundreds and hundreds of confetti-like squares of black tissue paper individually glued to a perfectly carved cardboard cat frame. Her two seven-year old twin girls proudly helped along the way, gluing on the eyes, preparing the whiskers. Then they reveled in the moment they got to smash it with their friends – scrambling and shrieking for candy.

“Damn,” I thought. “She’s so talented, thoughtful and creative.”

Last June, when my daughter was graduating from high school, her friend’s mom, Leah, printed out pictures from each year of her daughter’s school life, hung them one by one down the hall from her daughter’s bedroom with streamers, so when she woke up that morning, she opened her door to a celebration of her life so far – all leading to a balloon and flower shrine in the living room adorned around her grade 12 graduation photo as her family stood around and cheered.

When my kid told me about it, I’m pretty sure I caught a sense of longing and sadness in her eyes, wishing she had such a mom.

And once again, I thought, “Damn. She’s so talented, thoughtful and creative.”

I tried crafts with my kids as they grew up. Mostly, I bought them kits and paints from Michaels or the Dollar store and let them do their thing. If you’ve seen my past attempts at painting or crafts, you’d understand. I just don’t have the DIY DNA.

But then, after I gave my daughter her graduation present, I realized I was being too hard on myself.

Poems for my daughter
My DIY book cover

I gave her a book of personal poems I had written about her to mark this significant transition in her life out of high school into university. Each piece was inspired by words I had collected about her from loved ones. At my request, they had sent me three words they think of when the think of her. I took them all and wrote some musings in hopes they would encourage, inspire, comfort or even spur a giggle from my youngest.

None of these poems came from a kit at Michaels or the Dollar Store. All of them came from me.

Tears ran down her cheeks as she read the pages. My heart filled.

That’s when I realized writing is my DIY, and damn, I am talented, thoughtful and creative!

I had created similar books for her two older sisters when they graduated. Each with their own twist, and their reactions equally filled my heart.

Over the years, I’ve written random poems and musings for many life moments for people I love: retirements, goodbyes, thoughts for a dying friend, my dad’s 90th birthday. I even did one for National Donut Day once. So fun! I do it because I love it and it means something to me. In turn, I also hope my words might mean something to others too – at the best of times, maybe they even get a laugh. (I’m no joke teller in real life, but sometimes I’m funny on paper 😊)

So, as it turns out, my DIY DNA isn’t half bad and I can hold my own against the likes of Holly and Leah.

Tell us how you DIY your writing and what it means to you.

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Filed under Feel good, Inspiration, Life and stuff, Motivation, poetry, Trials and Tribulations

A meditation in three words

I have some big creative plans for 2025.

I’m working on a short story collection, with a goal of drafting one story every month. The Restless Writers are working on a collaborative project – which Beckie mentioned a few months ago – that will have a lot of moving parts and ambitious deadlines. I have a new non-fiction project waiting in the wings, as well as some non-writing related plans too.

I’m excited to work towards my goals, and they’re important to me. But like a lot of the world, I feel like I’m teetering on the edge of chaos. How can I intentionally create space for pursuing my writing when it feels like I’m losing control? How can I keep moving forward when the work feels like I’m swimming through molasses? How can I support my creative and mental health in an already full and hectic life?

What helps me is a three-word mantra: Discipline. Patience. Joy.

Here’s what these words mean to me.

Discipline

I’ve come to accept that, for me, a daily writing habit isn’t realistic. I have a full-time job and do freelance work on the side, so it’s not feasible to find an hour to write every single day. What I can do is plan writing blocks in my weekly schedule when it makes sense for me. Sunday mornings, for example, work very well. Mini-DIY writing retreats are another tool I use. The discipline part kicks in when I commit to those writing blocks or retreats and use my writing time effectively.

(Not a write-every-day person? Feel better about it with the idea of “binge writing,” which I learned from Allison K Williams in this blog post.)

Showing up for other people is another part of my creative discipline. The monthly(ish) Restless Writers meetings are a big part of that. I also offer support to a small circle of people who are working towards creative goals and need the help of an accountability partner. When I show up to co-work with them, I’m also showing up for myself.

Most days, I struggle with focus. And there’s nothing like the fidgets to disrupt one’s creative efforts. So, this year, I’m banning the disruptors – those things that pull me out of creative flow. I’ve deleted TikTok (which I should have done eons ago, honestly). I’ve muted social media notifications. I’ve silenced the siren call of books to be read and jigsaw puzzles to be completed by moving them to a different room. Out of sight, out of temptation, right?

I’ve also taken steps to make it as easy as possible to transition into writing mode. Check out my previous posts about creative readiness (part 1 and part 2) if you want to hear how I’m setting myself up for creative success.

Patience

Where the word discipline feels somewhat sterile and harsh, patience feels like grace.

Creative work takes time, especially if you’re pursuing bigger goals, like a novel. With generative AI all around us, promising instant creative gratification, it can be hard to pull on the reins and settle into a rhythm of doing the time-consuming work. I have to remind myself that my writing goals won’t be achieved in one day – or heck, even in one week – and that’s okay. My slow and bumbling human brain is creating worlds, inventing people, and imagining love and disaster. Isn’t that beautiful?

Patience is also about knowing that my creative work will be there even if I have to step away from it. Life happens, and you might experience things that throw you off your creative game. I’ve had some setbacks already this year. Work got busy early. I had a monster freelance project that never seemed to end. The US election results gave me creeping, swirling, can’t-sleep-at-night anxiety. And last week, I said goodbye to my darling tortoiseshell cat, Mary Piper, who had been my companion for the last 14 years. Today was the first day I’ve felt like getting back to my writing. And you know what? The creative spark and the drive were still there. The story still called to me. So, I poured a coffee, put on some focus music, and got back to it.

This is Mary Piper, and one of her gazillion toys.

Joy

The third facet of my mantra is a gift to my creative self, a way of refilling my well and helping me feel connected to people and beauty around me. Frankly, joy has been hard to come by recently. There’s a lot going on – in my life, in the world – that makes joy seem elusive, like a shy fox in winter, or a sunrise hiding behind the morning fog. It can also be hard to recognize joy when you crash into it.

For me, joy feels like the hum of creative connection, the quiet of being immersed in nature, the exhilaration of moving my body, and the pleasure of interacting with art.

This year, I’m making the experience of joy a proactive exercise.

I’m seeking out and attending events, like an author reading at the library or an Alice in Wonderful exhibit at the Royal Botanical Gardens. I’m waking up early and walking to the frozen and glorious lake. Those books and puzzles I relegated to another room for the sake of discipline? I’m savouring them when I’ve finished my writing for the day. These moments are me welcoming and pursuing joy in my everyday life.

Discipline. Patience. Joy.

I breathe deeply and hold these words in my consciousness as I get ready in the morning. I contemplate them, written on the whiteboard in my study, throughout the day. I whisper them to myself when I get frustrated or depleted or sad. I re-visit them at night, to remind myself that I’m nurturing my creative self in ways that work best for me.

Do you have a mantra or a special word for 2025? I’d love to hear what it is and what it means to you.

Maria

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Building creative readiness – Part 2: Your creative mindset

In my last post, I talked about the concept of creative readiness and what that means in terms of your physical environment: your writing space, your writing tools and technology, and the things you need around you to be your best creative self.

But your physical environment is only one part of the picture. Your mindset plays a huge role when it comes to being focused, productive, and creative.

For many writers, feeling inspired and “in the mood” to write is the challenge. But as Jack London famously said, “You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.”

(Actually, he wrote, “Don’t loaf and invite inspiration; light out after it with a club, and if you don’t get it you will nonetheless get something that looks remarkably like it,” which I think is much more poetic.)

This echoes that quote from Ivan Coyote in my previous post, about being “actively engaged in the creative practice.” For them, lighting out after inspiration and creativity involves self-discipline, walks, and hot showers.

As a writer with a day job, I don’t have the luxury of waiting around for my muse to make an appearance. I need her to show up in those 30-minute increments I have cleared out of my day to write. Like, at the snap of my fingers.

Basically, I have to be my own muse, or write without one.

Real picture of me and my Muse collaborating on a story.

Creative readiness, when it comes to mindset, looks like this:

  • maintaining a full creative well that you can draw from;
  • being resilient and able to overcome creative challenges like writer’s block or burnout; and
  • having the skills to step into creative mode when it’s time to write.

I asked the other Restless Writers how they refill their creative wells.

For Beckie, connection nourishes creativity. She builds creative energy by “spending time with other creatives, like my Restless Writers.” In addition to our meetings and retreats, Beckie says that when she needs some help getting creative, she looks up. “The night sky is an inspiration.”

Andrea too finds that connecting with other artists and writers helps. Besides the inspiration she gets from the Restless Writers, she engages with creative works to get her ideas going. She says she will “read a great book. Go to the theatre to see a play or musical. Watch a great actor in a movie.” Andrea has a performance background (plus she’s an amazing trainer and facilitator), so it’s no surprise that theatre, singing, and dance parties with her daughters keep her feeling her creative best.

“Reading a lot of fiction is great,” echoed Sharon. “I get little pieces of inspiration from that—whether it’s from a piece of dialogue or an interesting story choice.”

For me, connecting with the Restless Writers (and other writers and creatives) and pushing myself out of the inertia of routine with challenges makes me feel pumped about writing. Beyond writing, I enjoy making digital art and taking photos of things that strike me as visually interesting. When I’m doing something like building out graphics for social media, I get to engage a different part of my creative brain. There are usually words involved, so the interplay of language and graphic arts intrigues me as well.

Whether or not you believe writer’s block is a thing, the struggle to write well—or even to get started—is something that hits us all at some point. My struggle is usually with writer’s jam. That’s when I have so many projects on the go, I pinball between priorities and can’t make meaningful progress on any of them, so I avoid my writing altogether. It’s brutal. I know focus and monotasking is the way to go, and that’s something I have been working on recently with pomodoros, co-writing sprints, and allowing myself to go as slowly as possible without actually stopping.

Andrea’s approach to tackling writer’s block starts with mindfulness. “I start by just breathing in and releasing tension, and then I free write—what I see/hear/smell, what’s in my head, what’s in my heart, with no judgment. Just words on a page. And I wait for my muse to return. She doesn’t always, and I’m left with captured random thoughts. When she does return, I welcome her in and try to open to the gifts she is offering.”

Sharon addresses writer’s block by switching things up. “In the last few months, I’ve been trying something new where I dictate a first draft of a chapter into my computer or phone. I try to go through it in one go, even if I am tripping over my words. The dialogue is choppy and a lot of the words are misspelled but it helps me get the structure of the chapter down. It takes the pressure off of staring at a blank page.” (I’m definitely going to try this, Sharon!)

Burnout can also affect creative readiness. Beckie says she experiences burnout “usually after completing a large project. Or even in the months prior to completion. It can feel like such a grind to get to the end, while, in reality, there is no end.” She focuses on other creative projects to help with recovery—things like painting, gardening, reading, or astrophotography.

Andrea says she can get “mind burnout,” where she’s overwhelmed and can’t do any kind of work, including writing. When this happens, she says she tries “to take time to ‘not do’ and just be. It could be days, weeks, or months, but my need to create always returns.”

I’ve had this experience too. I can be “away” from my writing for long stretches, but something—a Restless Writers meeting, a prompt, a new idea, a fresh take on an old story, or just the urge to bring something to life on paper—brings me back.

I wish I had a cheat code that I could apply to instantly switch to creative mode when I sit down to write. But I know there is no hack. It comes down to cultivating a regular creative habit, nurturing your creative self, and filling your creative well so you can step into writing mode as easily as possible.

In many ways, writing sets up a self-sustaining feedback loop. The act of writing itself is what kickstarts creativity and keeps the momentum going.

Once you start writing, you are creating the mindset and conditions to…keep writing.

As Beckie told me, “For me, creative readiness generally happens after I start a project and not before.”

Luckily, the Restless Writers support each other in sticking to our writing projects and nurturing our creative abilities. “They cheer me on,” said Andrea. “They offer smaller goals to help motivate me; remind me that my writing matters to them. I am grateful for them and their patience and acceptance.”

Thanks to my restless crew for sharing their thoughts on creative readiness and mindset. It’s been interesting to see how each of us approach our work and keep moving forward.

We’d love to hear from our readers too! What does your creative mindset look like? How do you stay resilient in the face of writer’s block and burnout? What habits help you “light out after inspiration”?

Maria

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Curious creativity

Recently, I was chatting with a writer I know who is results-oriented to the extreme. He proceeds by tackling and completing tasks in a linear, structured way. He swears by detailed outlines, story-arc schematics, and rich character tables.

He confessed that he was dealing with writer’s block.

“I don’t get it,” he said. “I know exactly where my novel is going, and how my main character will overcome a critical internal conflict. I even have the final dramatic scene laid out in bullet points! But I can’t seem to get writing. I’ve set goals for myself, but all my deadlines have flown past—whoosh! It’s totally frustrating.”

Sounds like it’s time for my friend to try a curiosity challenge.

A curiosity challenge is a mindset technique — suggested by one of our blog readers — that can help you get out of a writing slump. I’m trying it myself this month, to help me address creative anxiety, re-kindle my passion for writing, and get back into a regular writing practice.

All that a curiosity challenge involves is the reframing of a goal statement into a curiosity question. It’s simple and powerful. Instead of setting a rigid word-count goal or deadline for yourself, try turning it into an experiment.

Frame your experiment with phrases like: “I’m curious if…” or “Is it possible to…” or “I wonder if…” or even “Wouldn’t it be cool to…”

Here are some examples:

Instead of saying this……try this.
I have to wake up extra-early all week so I can meet my word-count goal!I’m curious if I can get up an hour early every day this week and write before my kids get up.
The only way I can make this submission deadline is if I write the whole thing this long weekend!Is it possible to write 10,000 words over one long weekend?
I have to focus on this chapter and finish it before I can move on with my novel!I wonder if I could write a scene from my main character’s dog’s perspective?
My revised chapter 1 is due to my writing group in less than a month!Wouldn’t it be cool to share a revised draft of chapter 1 with my writing group next month?

This approach takes the fear of failure out of the equation. If you’re anxious about not being able to achieve a writing goal or getting derailed, remove the anxiety by eliminating the high-pressure stakes.

If you’re finding yourself stuck or blocked or bored, bring this curiosity perspective to your writing. Don’t plan; play. Be bold. Explore a possibility. Do something new just to see if you can. Broaden your understanding of what you can achieve by trying something out.

Be ever-curious and challenge yourself with a not-so-serious approach. You’ll be surprised by how this simple hack can give your creativity a kick-start.

Are you going to give the curiosity challenge a try?

Maria

P.S.: June 2024 marks the 15th anniversary of the first blog post we ever published as the Restless Writers. (!) This is a super-exciting milestone and we are planning some fun ways to celebrate. Thanks to our readers for being here, and kudos to all our fellow writers who are on their own creative journeys.

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“How’s that novel coming along?”

Honouring your unofficial accountability partners

How many times have you been on the receiving end of a question like this?  

“How’s that novel coming along?” “Have you finished your book yet?” “When can I read that short story?”

No matter who asks me this kind of question—my writing group colleagues, my sister, or a random well-intentioned stranger who hears that I am a writer—I have an emotional, visceral response. An internal shudder. A surge of irritation. An immediate need to run away or hide.

I find it’s easy to respond with a little white lie: “Still chugging away!” Or a deflection: “It’s fine. But tell me about your new job!” Or a half-hearted attempt at a joke: “You’ll have to wait a bit longer—I’m holding out for a 6-figure advance and a Netflix adaptation.”

If I’m feeling especially fragile, I want to lash out with sarcasm or venom. Or just cry.

It’s no fun being reminded that your work in progress is just that—a work in progress. As in, not done yet. Especially if you feel stuck, if you’re comparing yourself to another writer, or if you had planned on reaching whatever word-count by now. Maybe you haven’t written anything in weeks, and the shame and self-loathing is gnawing at your insides. Maybe you gave up on your novel and turned your focus to renovating your laundry room, or gardening, or moping. (Been there.)

Whatever plot problem, personal vulnerability, or other form of writer’s block has caused your project to stall, it’s not the fault of that friend or family member who innocently stumbled into your creative dark night of the soul.

Instead of blasting that hapless individual or succumbing to those negative feelings, try this instead:

Pause: Take a deep breath. Sip your drink. Tie your shoelaces. Do something to give yourself a moment before you respond.

Smile: The action of using your face muscles to smile can have an effect on whatever negative emotion you’re actually feeling. Basically, fake it ‘til you make it.

Say thank you: This person is taking an interest in you and your writing. They don’t know about your internal struggles. They probably care about you and genuinely want to know how it’s going.

Clock your response: Notice the emotion you feel in response to their inquiry and reflect on why it set you off. Think about why you had the emotional response you did.

Be honest with them: You’re not obligated to tell this person why your writing has stalled. That’s between you and your muse—or you and your therapist. But if it feels right in the moment, share that the writing isn’t going as smoothly as you like. They might have some words of wisdom, or at least a sympathetic ear.

Be honest with yourself: If something isn’t going the way you want with your writing, you’re the only one who can change things. Ultimately, you’re responsible for moving forward with your creative project. Whatever has you stalled—lack of time, lack of motivation, boredom, frustration, a problem with craft, a problem with structure—it’s up to you to dig into that challenge and find a way through it.

As unwelcome or uncomfortable as those questions are, they can be the kick in the pants you need to get back to writing. Taking a closer look at why questions like this set you off can help you understand what’s keeping you from moving forward.

And that can ultimately help you turn discomfort into action.

How do you handle questions about your writing?

Maria

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Ruthless concentration: How an hour can improve your life

minh-pham-lB9ylP8e9Sg-unsplash

Like so many people these days, I struggle with productivity. With all the late-night doom-scrolling, a monkey brain that won’t sit still, efforts to quell daily anxiety, and trying to keep my hustle going, I’m finding it hard to actually focus on one task at a time in order to make progress.

I have so many interests and plans and things I want to do—and that I’m excited and motivated to do—that they make a  log-jam in my brain and I don’t actually get any of them done. I find it’s so much easier to do other things that feel like productive tasks, but are just time-wasters.

I’m super guilty of patting myself on the back for doing the dishes, cleaning up my inbox, and organizing my bookshelves. Anybody else?

I needed to find a way to be productive.

So naturally, I turned to YouTube to see what some internet influencers had to say on the topic of productivity.

Cue the irony of many, many hours of lost productivity here.

BUT, I did actually learn something. Even better, I have been able to deploy one super-helpful thing to make progress in my writing and my hustle.

That thing? It’s what Joey Schweitzer, creator of the YouTube channel Better Lives, calls, “ruthless, active concentration for one hour.” He talks about it in this video: The most important skill for improving your life.

According to Joey, “Pretty much every day, we have at least one thing that we know we need to do, and that if we were somehow able to sit down and do that thing from start to finish, our life would be better because of it.” Whether that one thing is to write 500 words, take an online course, or do your taxes, if you can apply yourself for one hour and complete that task, you will have taken a step towards improving your life or realizing an important goal.

Joey believes that if you can focus intensely on one task at a time, you will literally change your life. Because all those plans and dreams you have to live a more fulfilling life all come down to doing one thing at a time, one after the other, until you reach your goal. And the only way to accomplish those tasks is to focus on each one of those things with intentionality.

The tips Joey shares in this video to improve your focus are organized into three categories: properly crafting your physical environment, designing your digital environment, and training your mind. Many of the tips—such as putting your phone out of your line of sight while you’re focusing on a task—you would think are no-brainers. But they don’t actually work unless you do them. So when you start to operationalize these tips, you realize how powerful they are.

I set out to try the ruthlessly concentrated hour approach—and I still struggled when I was accountable to no-one except myself. But I found a secret weapon that worked. I was able to sit down and focus for an hour on one task, with no (well, not many) fidgets, no social media distractions, no gazing aimlessly out the window, no “let me just throw on a load of laundry.” And I wrote 1,000 words in one sitting.

That secret weapon was Focusmate.

Focusmate is an online community and virtual coworking site where you set up structured 50-minute sessions with other people who are trying to concentrate too. From my first sample session using this virtual accountability tool, I was a convert. Not only was I productive, I also got an immense boost from completing my session. I felt proud and energized, and I couldn’t wait to do it again. I highly recommend you check it out. (Did I mention it’s free, for now anyway? They are introducing paid plans on September 26, although can still book three sessions per week for free.)

When I mentioned it to the Restless Writers at our recent in-person meeting (yay!) (double yay!) (yes, we followed good physical distancing protocols and stayed outside!), they were a little wary of the fact that you are basically being stared at for an hour by a complete stranger. For me, that’s what made it work—it felt friendly but business-like, so there was no temptation to take a break to chat. I didn’t want to look bad by scrolling through my feeds. I was motivated to be on my best behaviour, and I was motivated by helping someone else achieve their productivity goal too. Whatever science is behind this, it works.

You might find it easier to set up a coworking session on Zoom or Skype with someone you trust. The Restless Writers might try that too. The point is to set up your hour of intense focus, and get. Shit. Done.

Have you tried Focusmate or video coworking? Or do you have some other method that keeps you on-task? Please share your trick in the comments, and tell us how it worked out for you.

Maria

Photo by Minh Pham on Unsplash.

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Spilling the Tea

Okay, it’s crunch time people. We’re at T minus 19 four one hour until the next RW meeting and yours truly is zero for two on the action items she committed to at our gathering last month. They were pretty simple – more pages for the mystery novel I am currently writing and a new blog post. The worst part is I’ve been on holiday from work for the past two weeks and still, have a sum total of bupkis to show for myself.

Which brings me back to crunch time. If I can get this blog post published within the next 19 four hour I’ve got a chance to break even on those action items and hopefully feel a little less like a flop when I walk into our RW meeting.

To get the writing juices flowing I always find it helpful to first whine about my situation. Thankfully, my significant other (SO), who was on the receiving end of my I’ve-missed-my-RW-deadlines-what-is-wrong-with-me sob story, had some good advice.

“Just be honest,” he said. “Write a blog post and just be honest about why you haven’t been writing.”

The truth huh? That sounds about as good of a topic as any to blog about, so, here it goes. The honest truth, the real reason I have failed to produce some writing the last few weeks is that I just didn’t feel like it.

You know what I did feel like doing?

Organizing – In the last two weeks I have upended, purged and organized almost every room, junk drawer and closet in our house and it feels frickin’ fantastic.

Hanging out – The advent of high school in September for my oldest son is serving as a very stark reminder that time is passing all too swiftly and these days as a family of four inhabiting the same living space won’t last forever. Ice cream run? Yep. Daily tennis games against the wall at the schoolyard in 90 degree heat? You bet. I want to take it all in.

Watching TV – I think it’s fair to say the last few days have provided me with a sound understanding of Netflix Canada’s current inventory (Ibiza anyone?), the opportunity to catch up on some old favourites (The Affair, The Americans) and a chance to dive into some new series I keep reading about (Succession).

Reading – To balance out the TV. My library “hold” number for Something in the Water came up just in time for my vacation. Perfect summer reading – it did not disappoint.

Walking and podcast listening – My favourite early morning pastime to get a start on the day and feel like I am learning some interesting stuff. Some of my favourites for listening at the moment include: Terrible, Thanks for Asking, Making Obama, and Criminal.

And there you have it. How I spent my summer vacation.

Looking over this list, it occurs to me that these activities are all my self care go-to’s in times when I’m not feeling like myself – on the days when I’m feeling a little blue or stuck. And actually (I’m having an ah-ha moment), this is probably what my SO meant when he said to “just be honest” about why I haven’t been writing.

The truth is I didn’t feel much like writing the last few weeks because I haven’t been feeling like myself. Nothing specific I can put my finger on but there you have it.

The good news? I think I’m on my way to hitting my reset button: I’ve had the last couple of weeks to do the things that help me to feel better; tonight at our RW meeting I’ll get a second chance to commit to some new actions and more pages; and, if I can publish this post in the next hour I will have gotten back to some writing! Halfway there.

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Restless Across the Miles

“I just wanted to let you know that I miss you. I’m running around today but I’ll try to call you tonight.”

That’s an actual email from a former beau. We met in our last year of university and upon graduation, found ourselves in a long distance relationship when he headed home to the west coast and I stayed in Ontario. We made it work for a year with visits every few months and regular phone calls until a brunette in his post graduate program caught his eye. Laura or Linda, what was her name? It definitely started with an “L” – not that I’m still peeved about it or anything 20 years later.

After we broke up, I lost 10 pounds in two weeks, unemployed and sequestered in my parents’ basement for large spans of time as the upstairs hardwood floors were being refinished. The sadness and varnish fumes overwhelmed me in equal parts and right then and there I knew I’d never be party to another long distance relationship.

Until now.

The Restless Writers are going long distance! That’s right, our fearless Maria has headed west for some big adventures. While we couldn’t be happier for her, there’s no escaping that the move brings with it some changes for our small RW family.

The sound of the ‘clink’ from our congratulatory prosecco glasses had barely faded before each of us began rhyming off the pieces we’d have to work out. Meetings. Retreats. The general merriment and ease that comes from meeting together once a month for more than five years – what would happen to all of that?

The truth is, we don’t know. BUT. That is not stopping us from diving in to find out.

Based on my experience with the above mentioned long-distance love, I feel like I have some good insights that might be helpful as we embark on this journey.

Embrace technology – Unlike 1996, when I relied on a fax machine (a fax machine people!) to send letters back and forth to my paramour, 2017 is looking A LOT brighter when it comes to options for bridging the distance. We’ll be connecting virtually for our meetings and would like to use something that is reliable, easy to use and free. After looking at a few options, we are going with Google’s Duo app – the FaceTime of the Android world. We have downloaded it to our mobile devices, tested it and we’re ready to go.

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Mind the time change – While we’re settling in for an evening of nibbles and pages in the Eastern Standard time zone, Maria will just be coming off her lunchtime nap. And by the time evening reaches Maria, the RWs will be heading for bed (except for Beckie, she’s a night owl). Sometimes, being a few hours apart can make it feel like there is just never a good time to connect. To help, we’ve kept our first virtual meet up to our regular start time but we may have to play around with this as we go.

Communication is key – This virtual RW thing is new for all of us and there are bound to be some stops and starts. My hope is that if we can be open and honest about what is working and what isn’t, we’ll be able to find our way through.

Be wary if Maria mentions a new friend whose name starts with “L” – Unlike my former beau and the arrival of terrible Linda or Laura, we are excited for Maria to make new friends. And wouldn’t it be cool if some of those friends were writerly types. Maybe we could even Brady-Bunch it and have a big meet up.

There’s lots to be sorted out but we’re on our way. Our first meeting since the move is in a few days so we’ll be sure to report back to share how it’s going.

If any of you have experience with being a part of a long distance writing group we’d love to hear how you coordinate along with any other ideas you might have for us as we begin this new chapter. See what I did there? 🙂

Stay tuned…

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Pedal to the metal!

I’m totally stalling like a 57 Chevy. And umm… waiting for a tow from my fellow restless writers.

I start. Then I stop. Then weeks go by and I’m bummed by my lack of progress on my new writing project. What gives? I mean, does anyone really feel quite ready to write?

I seem to be getting bogged down by deciding where to begin. I’ve written a handful of chapters of a memoir, a genre new to me, but they don’t seem to fit together. And hastily, I’m learning there is no one perfect place to start. So instead, I write this blog post in hopes it will propel me forward in delivering pages to my writing group by next weekend. That’s only seven days from now. Ah, crap.

After reading much advice from other writers online about how to break through barriers when beginning new projects, I’m left wondering, will any of that fluff work for me? I already practice much of it now in my writing routine, like setting goals, making a plan, and committing to other humans (i.e., the Restless Writers)—I am the Leckie after all. I do that stuff, and yet, I feel overwhelmed. I doubt myself and I allow life to get in the way of my progress. Excuses, really.

I need to just start, dammit. And to stop overthinking my story and just get to free-writing.

It’s time to put the pedal to the metal and enjoy the ride!

“It’s better to write for yourself and have no audience, then write for an audience and have no self”.  

~ Cyril Connolly

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Do you have the COURAGE?

courage-stoneWriting takes courage…

…the courage David had when he met Goliath.

Every time you sit down to write, you face the Goliaths of those who have gone before. The geniuses of Shakespeare, Hemingway, Wilde and Irving (insert any of your literary heroes.) You face the Goliath of the depth of the story you have to tell and the multitudinous words at your fingertips to express it. And you face the Goliath of your fears: Am I talented enough? Do I have anything new to say to the world? Will anyone read this?  What if this only matters to me? And on…

Writing takes courage…

…the courage Rosa Parks had when she refused to give up her seat on that Montgomery, Alabama bus.

When you call yourself a writer you refuse to ignore your soul’s mission for a creative existence. You face possible scorn for going against the rules of world order. You resist the laws of comfort and stability. You have the courage to live an amplified life to bring forth the precious gifts that lie within.

Writing takes courage…

…the courage of Martin Luther King Jr. when he shared his dream openly with the world.

You have courage the day you release your creation into the world where you face possible ridicule or disappointment from those you love and respect. You face possible rejection from publisher after publisher. You face possible anonymity and solitude if your work is out there with no affirmation of its worth, but you have the courage to do it anyway.

You have to be brave to be creative. You have to be daring. You have to be bold. As Jack Gilbert, former poet and teacher, said, “Without bravery, we would never be able to realize the vaulting scope of our own capacities. Without bravery, we would never know the world as richly as it longs to be known. Without bravery, our lives would remain small—far smaller than we probably want our lives to be.”

I am reading Big Magic, by Elizabeth Gilbert, and I am moved and inspired by every word as she describes her creative process in a deeply personal, yet practical and humourous way. She opens by talking about Jack Gilbert, who never made great fortune and fame from his poetry (although he could have). He would ask his writing students, “Do you have the courage to bring forth this work? The treasures that are hidden inside you are hoping you will say yes.”

Discovering your treasures, accepting them, and then boldly bringing them into the light for all to see are all acts of courage. Acts of courage the world needs from you.

Find your inner David, your Rosa, your Martin, and say yes…please.

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Filed under Inspiration, Life and stuff, Trials and Tribulations