Category Archives: Motivation

Do you DIY?

(names changed to protect the innocent)

Recently, my niece, Holly, made a black cat pinata from scratch for Halloween. Did you read that? A pinata FROM SCRATCH! She didn’t buy it at the Bulk Barn or Party City. She handmade it. What the?!

Of course, she captured and shared the step-by-step magic on Instagram. I marveled at it – her ingenuity, her patience. Hundreds and hundreds of confetti-like squares of black tissue paper individually glued to a perfectly carved cardboard cat frame. Her two seven-year old twin girls proudly helped along the way, gluing on the eyes, preparing the whiskers. Then they reveled in the moment they got to smash it with their friends – scrambling and shrieking for candy.

“Damn,” I thought. “She’s so talented, thoughtful and creative.”

Last June, when my daughter was graduating from high school, her friend’s mom, Leah, printed out pictures from each year of her daughter’s school life, hung them one by one down the hall from her daughter’s bedroom with streamers, so when she woke up that morning, she opened her door to a celebration of her life so far – all leading to a balloon and flower shrine in the living room adorned around her grade 12 graduation photo as her family stood around and cheered.

When my kid told me about it, I’m pretty sure I caught a sense of longing and sadness in her eyes, wishing she had such a mom.

And once again, I thought, “Damn. She’s so talented, thoughtful and creative.”

I tried crafts with my kids as they grew up. Mostly, I bought them kits and paints from Michaels or the Dollar store and let them do their thing. If you’ve seen my past attempts at painting or crafts, you’d understand. I just don’t have the DIY DNA.

But then, after I gave my daughter her graduation present, I realized I was being too hard on myself.

Poems for my daughter
My DIY book cover

I gave her a book of personal poems I had written about her to mark this significant transition in her life out of high school into university. Each piece was inspired by words I had collected about her from loved ones. At my request, they had sent me three words they think of when the think of her. I took them all and wrote some musings in hopes they would encourage, inspire, comfort or even spur a giggle from my youngest.

None of these poems came from a kit at Michaels or the Dollar Store. All of them came from me.

Tears ran down her cheeks as she read the pages. My heart filled.

That’s when I realized writing is my DIY, and damn, I am talented, thoughtful and creative!

I had created similar books for her two older sisters when they graduated. Each with their own twist, and their reactions equally filled my heart.

Over the years, I’ve written random poems and musings for many life moments for people I love: retirements, goodbyes, thoughts for a dying friend, my dad’s 90th birthday. I even did one for National Donut Day once. So fun! I do it because I love it and it means something to me. In turn, I also hope my words might mean something to others too – at the best of times, maybe they even get a laugh. (I’m no joke teller in real life, but sometimes I’m funny on paper 😊)

So, as it turns out, my DIY DNA isn’t half bad and I can hold my own against the likes of Holly and Leah.

Tell us how you DIY your writing and what it means to you.

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Filed under Feel good, Inspiration, Life and stuff, Motivation, poetry, Trials and Tribulations

A meditation in three words

I have some big creative plans for 2025.

I’m working on a short story collection, with a goal of drafting one story every month. The Restless Writers are working on a collaborative project – which Beckie mentioned a few months ago – that will have a lot of moving parts and ambitious deadlines. I have a new non-fiction project waiting in the wings, as well as some non-writing related plans too.

I’m excited to work towards my goals, and they’re important to me. But like a lot of the world, I feel like I’m teetering on the edge of chaos. How can I intentionally create space for pursuing my writing when it feels like I’m losing control? How can I keep moving forward when the work feels like I’m swimming through molasses? How can I support my creative and mental health in an already full and hectic life?

What helps me is a three-word mantra: Discipline. Patience. Joy.

Here’s what these words mean to me.

Discipline

I’ve come to accept that, for me, a daily writing habit isn’t realistic. I have a full-time job and do freelance work on the side, so it’s not feasible to find an hour to write every single day. What I can do is plan writing blocks in my weekly schedule when it makes sense for me. Sunday mornings, for example, work very well. Mini-DIY writing retreats are another tool I use. The discipline part kicks in when I commit to those writing blocks or retreats and use my writing time effectively.

(Not a write-every-day person? Feel better about it with the idea of “binge writing,” which I learned from Allison K Williams in this blog post.)

Showing up for other people is another part of my creative discipline. The monthly(ish) Restless Writers meetings are a big part of that. I also offer support to a small circle of people who are working towards creative goals and need the help of an accountability partner. When I show up to co-work with them, I’m also showing up for myself.

Most days, I struggle with focus. And there’s nothing like the fidgets to disrupt one’s creative efforts. So, this year, I’m banning the disruptors – those things that pull me out of creative flow. I’ve deleted TikTok (which I should have done eons ago, honestly). I’ve muted social media notifications. I’ve silenced the siren call of books to be read and jigsaw puzzles to be completed by moving them to a different room. Out of sight, out of temptation, right?

I’ve also taken steps to make it as easy as possible to transition into writing mode. Check out my previous posts about creative readiness (part 1 and part 2) if you want to hear how I’m setting myself up for creative success.

Patience

Where the word discipline feels somewhat sterile and harsh, patience feels like grace.

Creative work takes time, especially if you’re pursuing bigger goals, like a novel. With generative AI all around us, promising instant creative gratification, it can be hard to pull on the reins and settle into a rhythm of doing the time-consuming work. I have to remind myself that my writing goals won’t be achieved in one day – or heck, even in one week – and that’s okay. My slow and bumbling human brain is creating worlds, inventing people, and imagining love and disaster. Isn’t that beautiful?

Patience is also about knowing that my creative work will be there even if I have to step away from it. Life happens, and you might experience things that throw you off your creative game. I’ve had some setbacks already this year. Work got busy early. I had a monster freelance project that never seemed to end. The US election results gave me creeping, swirling, can’t-sleep-at-night anxiety. And last week, I said goodbye to my darling tortoiseshell cat, Mary Piper, who had been my companion for the last 14 years. Today was the first day I’ve felt like getting back to my writing. And you know what? The creative spark and the drive were still there. The story still called to me. So, I poured a coffee, put on some focus music, and got back to it.

This is Mary Piper, and one of her gazillion toys.

Joy

The third facet of my mantra is a gift to my creative self, a way of refilling my well and helping me feel connected to people and beauty around me. Frankly, joy has been hard to come by recently. There’s a lot going on – in my life, in the world – that makes joy seem elusive, like a shy fox in winter, or a sunrise hiding behind the morning fog. It can also be hard to recognize joy when you crash into it.

For me, joy feels like the hum of creative connection, the quiet of being immersed in nature, the exhilaration of moving my body, and the pleasure of interacting with art.

This year, I’m making the experience of joy a proactive exercise.

I’m seeking out and attending events, like an author reading at the library or an Alice in Wonderful exhibit at the Royal Botanical Gardens. I’m waking up early and walking to the frozen and glorious lake. Those books and puzzles I relegated to another room for the sake of discipline? I’m savouring them when I’ve finished my writing for the day. These moments are me welcoming and pursuing joy in my everyday life.

Discipline. Patience. Joy.

I breathe deeply and hold these words in my consciousness as I get ready in the morning. I contemplate them, written on the whiteboard in my study, throughout the day. I whisper them to myself when I get frustrated or depleted or sad. I re-visit them at night, to remind myself that I’m nurturing my creative self in ways that work best for me.

Do you have a mantra or a special word for 2025? I’d love to hear what it is and what it means to you.

Maria

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Filed under Life and stuff, Motivation, Trials and Tribulations

Are you a starter or a finisher?

The Restless Writers have just returned from our annual writing retreat. It was filled with stories of true confession, a lightning round of Trivial Pursuit (Canadian edition), a birthday party with Sparkling Stars, beaucoup prompts, a new word (deliciate: to indulge and make yourself happy), and…something very special.

We’ve been working on a collaborative project for a couple years now that we’ve finally committed to finishing—and launching in the Spring of 2025. You heard it here! It’s a project we’ve been weaving together that commemorates our sixteen year friendship. Our hope for the project is it will allow us to support and celebrate writers on a similar journey to ours. Writers helping writers.

Like any creative project, it’s been a challenge to keep it moving forward. Each one of us brings a different productivity persona to the table. Meaning, a couple of us live for the creative beginnings of a new project and a couple of us are eager to execute! Lucky for us, we’re the perfect combination of ideas, plans, skills, and whimsy. We can do this, and we will.

As writers, we have always approached our individual creative journeys differently. We daydream. We abandon. And when it feels right, we give life to those ideas that tug on our shirt sleeves and keep us up at night. We live for these moments! Some projects completed, some published, some still living in notebooks and on USB keys, enduring edit after edit. And that’s okay. It allows us the freedom and flexibility as writers to use the right approach for the job, and at the time when it suits us.

We’re starters. We’re finishers. And we need each other. For encouragement, for accountability, and for butter tart runs to the farm. These are just a few of the things that make us a badass writing team. More to come on our pet project.

Do you consider yourself a starter or a finisher or somewhere in the middle? Tell us more in the comments.

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Filed under Blogging, Feel good, Group meetings, Inspiration, Motivation, Writing ideas

Building creative readiness – Part 2: Your creative mindset

In my last post, I talked about the concept of creative readiness and what that means in terms of your physical environment: your writing space, your writing tools and technology, and the things you need around you to be your best creative self.

But your physical environment is only one part of the picture. Your mindset plays a huge role when it comes to being focused, productive, and creative.

For many writers, feeling inspired and “in the mood” to write is the challenge. But as Jack London famously said, “You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.”

(Actually, he wrote, “Don’t loaf and invite inspiration; light out after it with a club, and if you don’t get it you will nonetheless get something that looks remarkably like it,” which I think is much more poetic.)

This echoes that quote from Ivan Coyote in my previous post, about being “actively engaged in the creative practice.” For them, lighting out after inspiration and creativity involves self-discipline, walks, and hot showers.

As a writer with a day job, I don’t have the luxury of waiting around for my muse to make an appearance. I need her to show up in those 30-minute increments I have cleared out of my day to write. Like, at the snap of my fingers.

Basically, I have to be my own muse, or write without one.

Real picture of me and my Muse collaborating on a story.

Creative readiness, when it comes to mindset, looks like this:

  • maintaining a full creative well that you can draw from;
  • being resilient and able to overcome creative challenges like writer’s block or burnout; and
  • having the skills to step into creative mode when it’s time to write.

I asked the other Restless Writers how they refill their creative wells.

For Beckie, connection nourishes creativity. She builds creative energy by “spending time with other creatives, like my Restless Writers.” In addition to our meetings and retreats, Beckie says that when she needs some help getting creative, she looks up. “The night sky is an inspiration.”

Andrea too finds that connecting with other artists and writers helps. Besides the inspiration she gets from the Restless Writers, she engages with creative works to get her ideas going. She says she will “read a great book. Go to the theatre to see a play or musical. Watch a great actor in a movie.” Andrea has a performance background (plus she’s an amazing trainer and facilitator), so it’s no surprise that theatre, singing, and dance parties with her daughters keep her feeling her creative best.

“Reading a lot of fiction is great,” echoed Sharon. “I get little pieces of inspiration from that—whether it’s from a piece of dialogue or an interesting story choice.”

For me, connecting with the Restless Writers (and other writers and creatives) and pushing myself out of the inertia of routine with challenges makes me feel pumped about writing. Beyond writing, I enjoy making digital art and taking photos of things that strike me as visually interesting. When I’m doing something like building out graphics for social media, I get to engage a different part of my creative brain. There are usually words involved, so the interplay of language and graphic arts intrigues me as well.

Whether or not you believe writer’s block is a thing, the struggle to write well—or even to get started—is something that hits us all at some point. My struggle is usually with writer’s jam. That’s when I have so many projects on the go, I pinball between priorities and can’t make meaningful progress on any of them, so I avoid my writing altogether. It’s brutal. I know focus and monotasking is the way to go, and that’s something I have been working on recently with pomodoros, co-writing sprints, and allowing myself to go as slowly as possible without actually stopping.

Andrea’s approach to tackling writer’s block starts with mindfulness. “I start by just breathing in and releasing tension, and then I free write—what I see/hear/smell, what’s in my head, what’s in my heart, with no judgment. Just words on a page. And I wait for my muse to return. She doesn’t always, and I’m left with captured random thoughts. When she does return, I welcome her in and try to open to the gifts she is offering.”

Sharon addresses writer’s block by switching things up. “In the last few months, I’ve been trying something new where I dictate a first draft of a chapter into my computer or phone. I try to go through it in one go, even if I am tripping over my words. The dialogue is choppy and a lot of the words are misspelled but it helps me get the structure of the chapter down. It takes the pressure off of staring at a blank page.” (I’m definitely going to try this, Sharon!)

Burnout can also affect creative readiness. Beckie says she experiences burnout “usually after completing a large project. Or even in the months prior to completion. It can feel like such a grind to get to the end, while, in reality, there is no end.” She focuses on other creative projects to help with recovery—things like painting, gardening, reading, or astrophotography.

Andrea says she can get “mind burnout,” where she’s overwhelmed and can’t do any kind of work, including writing. When this happens, she says she tries “to take time to ‘not do’ and just be. It could be days, weeks, or months, but my need to create always returns.”

I’ve had this experience too. I can be “away” from my writing for long stretches, but something—a Restless Writers meeting, a prompt, a new idea, a fresh take on an old story, or just the urge to bring something to life on paper—brings me back.

I wish I had a cheat code that I could apply to instantly switch to creative mode when I sit down to write. But I know there is no hack. It comes down to cultivating a regular creative habit, nurturing your creative self, and filling your creative well so you can step into writing mode as easily as possible.

In many ways, writing sets up a self-sustaining feedback loop. The act of writing itself is what kickstarts creativity and keeps the momentum going.

Once you start writing, you are creating the mindset and conditions to…keep writing.

As Beckie told me, “For me, creative readiness generally happens after I start a project and not before.”

Luckily, the Restless Writers support each other in sticking to our writing projects and nurturing our creative abilities. “They cheer me on,” said Andrea. “They offer smaller goals to help motivate me; remind me that my writing matters to them. I am grateful for them and their patience and acceptance.”

Thanks to my restless crew for sharing their thoughts on creative readiness and mindset. It’s been interesting to see how each of us approach our work and keep moving forward.

We’d love to hear from our readers too! What does your creative mindset look like? How do you stay resilient in the face of writer’s block and burnout? What habits help you “light out after inspiration”?

Maria

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Building creative readiness – Part 1: Your physical environment

According to celebrated author and performer Ivan Coyote, “You have to be actively engaged in the creative practice for the creativity to hit you” (Globe & Mail, August 7, 2023). They credit self-disciple, nature walks, and hot showers to their success. Coyote strongly believes that you have to put in the work to be prepared to be creative. That way, you’re ready when inspiration hits.

I think of this as creative readiness – an intentional way of removing any friction between you and your writing practice. It’s an approach that clears out the excuses and signals to your creative muscles that it’s time to write.

Creative readiness has two dimensions: your physical writing environment and your creative mindset. Being prepared to be creative means shoring up both of these dimensions. In practice, creative readiness is a series of individualized actions or processes that mark the transition into writing mode, and a way of preparing yourself mentally to make that transition.

I wondered what other writers thought about creative readiness, so I asked my fellow Restless Writers to weigh in. They had a lot to say – so much in fact, that I’m splitting this blog post into two parts.

In this first part, let’s dig into how the Restless Writers set up their physical environments to work on their creative tasks.

Space to let the words flow

A writer needs space. A place to build worlds, invent characters, concoct plots, converse with their muse, and do battle with their inner critic. Virginia Woolf famously said that women writers needed “a room of one’s own” (literal and metaphorical) in which to write. Ray Bradbury wrote his first novel on a typewriter he rented for ten cents an hour in the basement of UCLA’s Lawrence Clark Powell Library. Edith Wharton wrote from her bed.

I asked AI to create an image of the perfect writer’s office. Here’s the result:

I mean… That looks pretty perfect to me. (The Edison lights and cosy blanket? Love those details!)

In reality, there is no universal “perfect” writing space – it is personal to each writer.

Beckie, a Restless Writer with an enviable backyard, has a dedicated writing shed – but it’s weather-dependent. “Ideally, I write in my writing shed. This works best because there are no distractions, except weather at times when it can get too hot or too chilly. I dream of a mini woodstove in there, with space for a tea pot.” When the shed isn’t an option, she makes do with her dining room table. Beckie is currently editing a memoir.

Cute shed, Beckie!

Andrea has a self-described “backyard oasis” at her home, complete with multiple writing spots and a pool if she needs an active break. Her space is weather-dependent as well. If she’s forced inside, she opts for the living room couch. Wherever she is, she needs a bit of nature. “I look for a spot that is comfortable and full of light; under trees, or where I can see them.”

Staying mobile means Andrea is ready to write when inspiration hits. Sharon, who’s working on a mystery/thriller novel, likes to mix up her writing spots too. “I usually write sitting up in bed against the headboard with my laptop on my lap (obviously) and my notes spread out around me,” she says. “If I’m at the library, I go for the comfiest chair I can find.” Sharon finds sitting at a desk to be too formal.

Like Beckie, I have a writing space all to myself, but it’s also my home office. I have a work-from-home day job, so my 9-to-5 is the same space as my 5-to-9. On the plus side, a dedicated office means I don’t have to fight for space or negotiate with family members for a little quiet time. There’s room enough for my books, writing supplies, files, and two desks. I can close the door and focus on my work whenever I want.

My creative readiness struggle is transitioning from work-Maria to creative-Maria without physically leaving my office. I’ve started to venture out of my formal office and – like Beckie – set up on the dining room table so I can step purposefully into the writing zone.

Technology, talismans, and snacks

The physical writing space includes all the things we need around us to write. That can look different for everyone, but the basic categories are writing implements/technology, writing supports, sustenance, and ambiance.

Sharon gets back to basics when she writes. “I’ve usually got a glass of water beside me on the nightstand and a little bowl of some nibblies – M&Ms, almonds, chips, they all work. I’ve always got the outline for my novel nearby to remind me where I’m headed.”

Andrea’s setup is also pared down: she just needs a notebook and a pen with blue ink, with “candles and calm.”

Beckie is the only RW who mentioned music. She likes to write with “a chill playlist – something ambient.”

As for me, I need my laptop or lined notepaper and a good pen (I write longhand when I’m brainstorming or outlining); my hard-copy story notes and outline; coffee with plenty of milk; and quiet. Those are the absolute must-haves for me to write.

I do appreciate some technological supports. I prefer to keep my phone out of my line of sight, but I do use the timer for writing sprints. Music can get my creativity going, so I sometimes have a classical playlist or an instrumental soundtrack playing. But music with lyrics is too distracting for me. I am experimenting with a talisman – I’m not a woo-woo person but I do believe in the power of rituals. I found a hunk of clear glass on one of my waterfront walks, and I’m placing it near my laptop as a reminder to focus my writing energy.

Making a “creatively ready” writing space

Here’s what I’ve learned about preparing one’s physical space to support a regular writing practice:

  • Identify needs versus wants. While having the perfect physical writing space is every writer’s dream, it won’t be the reality 100% of the time. When it comes down to it, all that any writer needs is a comfortable place to write and the materials you need to be productive and creative. Everything else is gravy. (Like those Edison lights or the soundtrack to Interstellar.)
  • Know yourself. Some writers do their best work at a bustling coffee shop, while others need quiet and privacy to get going. Note where you’ve been productive in the past and do your best to replicate those conditions.
  • Have options. Less-than-ideal conditions can give you a great excuse to skip out of your writing time – like if a heat wave is keeping you from writing in your she-shed, you’re out of M&Ms, or someone stole your favourite seat at Starbuck’s. Have a plan B, even if it’s not ideal.
  • Don’t rely on perfect conditions to write. Waiting for conditions to be just so or spending too much time creating an idyllic space can lead to not doing the work. If there’s anything you should strive for, it’s the ability to build a regular writing habit. I think Sharon said it perfectly: “Don’t overthink creative readiness too much. Have confidence in your ability to be creative at any given time. Most of the time I am just diving blindly into creative projects, knowing that I’ll get where I want to go at some point because I have shown myself many times before that I can.”

Bottom line, creative readiness is about balancing the conditions that help you write at your best with the very minimum you need to put the work in, plus the creative confidence to push on.

In the next part of this post, we’ll talk about the mental and psychological side of creative readiness, and how the Restless Writers get into the writing mindset.

For fun, I asked AI to adjust that image of the perfect writer’s office to include a timed device that would keep a person locked in their chair so they don’t get distracted. The image looks pretty unhinged, but someone should invent this.

Take my money!

Until next time,

Maria

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Curious creativity

Recently, I was chatting with a writer I know who is results-oriented to the extreme. He proceeds by tackling and completing tasks in a linear, structured way. He swears by detailed outlines, story-arc schematics, and rich character tables.

He confessed that he was dealing with writer’s block.

“I don’t get it,” he said. “I know exactly where my novel is going, and how my main character will overcome a critical internal conflict. I even have the final dramatic scene laid out in bullet points! But I can’t seem to get writing. I’ve set goals for myself, but all my deadlines have flown past—whoosh! It’s totally frustrating.”

Sounds like it’s time for my friend to try a curiosity challenge.

A curiosity challenge is a mindset technique — suggested by one of our blog readers — that can help you get out of a writing slump. I’m trying it myself this month, to help me address creative anxiety, re-kindle my passion for writing, and get back into a regular writing practice.

All that a curiosity challenge involves is the reframing of a goal statement into a curiosity question. It’s simple and powerful. Instead of setting a rigid word-count goal or deadline for yourself, try turning it into an experiment.

Frame your experiment with phrases like: “I’m curious if…” or “Is it possible to…” or “I wonder if…” or even “Wouldn’t it be cool to…”

Here are some examples:

Instead of saying this……try this.
I have to wake up extra-early all week so I can meet my word-count goal!I’m curious if I can get up an hour early every day this week and write before my kids get up.
The only way I can make this submission deadline is if I write the whole thing this long weekend!Is it possible to write 10,000 words over one long weekend?
I have to focus on this chapter and finish it before I can move on with my novel!I wonder if I could write a scene from my main character’s dog’s perspective?
My revised chapter 1 is due to my writing group in less than a month!Wouldn’t it be cool to share a revised draft of chapter 1 with my writing group next month?

This approach takes the fear of failure out of the equation. If you’re anxious about not being able to achieve a writing goal or getting derailed, remove the anxiety by eliminating the high-pressure stakes.

If you’re finding yourself stuck or blocked or bored, bring this curiosity perspective to your writing. Don’t plan; play. Be bold. Explore a possibility. Do something new just to see if you can. Broaden your understanding of what you can achieve by trying something out.

Be ever-curious and challenge yourself with a not-so-serious approach. You’ll be surprised by how this simple hack can give your creativity a kick-start.

Are you going to give the curiosity challenge a try?

Maria

P.S.: June 2024 marks the 15th anniversary of the first blog post we ever published as the Restless Writers. (!) This is a super-exciting milestone and we are planning some fun ways to celebrate. Thanks to our readers for being here, and kudos to all our fellow writers who are on their own creative journeys.

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Wine, Space and a Cat Joke

My take on our poetry workshop

Maria wonderfully captured the poetry workshop we attended recently through the Burlington Public Library: Lynda Monk’s welcoming and positive approach; prompts that inspired our writing; our collective “affirmative noises” throughout the session.

Like Maria, I had also hesitated attending, but not for the same reasons. I don’t have a “prejudice against poetry”. I dabble from time to time and submitted my Your House is Not My House poem as pages for a Restless Writers meeting not that long ago. I also don’t hate journalling. While I may not journal every day, I am an “out loud” thinker, and when no one wants to listen, my journal pages are always willing.

I hesitated to participate because my brain prefers the ordinary. On the evening in questions, she said, “You’ve worked a long day. You’re tired. Wouldn’t you rather settle in to a night of watching Derry Girls episodes? Plus, you’ll have to do the dishes if Maria is coming over.”

But Maria had texted and offered to bring wine. So, what was I going to do? Say no? That’s funny. And I’m glad she did – come over, I mean. Not just bring the wine. (That said, Riesling on a Tuesday evening is a nice treat.)

For me, the gift of Lynda’s workshop was allowing in quiet and connection. It was a needed opportunity to tell my work and home brains to take 60, go commiserate about me over their own glasses of wine, and let me enjoy mine.

Lynda talked about how visceral poetry is. That it cuts to the essence, reveals the unspoken and digs into the senses. She shared this quote by Allen Ginsberg, “Poetry slows me down and brings me back to myself.” For me, on that Tuesday, I didn’t realize how fast I’d been moving until I followed Lynda’s instruction to close my eyes, listen to her recite Mary Oliver’s Wild Geese poem and write down any words or lines that stood out to us. That’s when I felt my breath deepen, and my body settle into her voice as I became drawn in by the verse.

And in that open space, she invited us to paint our own pictures through the prompts she provided. “I dwell in the possibility of…” “Silence is like…” or to fill in the blanks, using Jane Kenyon’s Otherwise poem as a template. Some participants chose to share what had sprung up in their writing. Usually, I’m one of them, but on this night, I was with the others who chose to simply listen and absorb.

To me, poetry is about presence and play. Experiencing it and then toying with the words, the shapes, the sounds, the spaces. You can choose the structure of a haiku or dance freely with your own use of the page, colour, fonts.

Toward the end, Lynda summarized our experience in the “5 Things to Practice to Free Your Inner Poet”:

  1. Breathing
  2. Stillness
  3. Listening
  4. Receiving
  5. Giving

These were the reminders I forgot I needed. Through this workshop, I expanded and found new creative energy. Maria opened up her imagination.

I encourage you to give yourself the gift of a writing workshop. Many are free or inexpensive and offered by local libraries or authors looking to inspire other writers. Maybe pick one that isn’t in your usual wheelhouse. You can certainly take one alone, or better yet, invite a fellow writer who never comes empty handed.

When it was done, Maria and I shared what had resonated with us from the workshop. We also shared some of our own verses inspired by the prompts. Maria, who is skilled at bringing levity to the heavy, wrote a a melancholy piece about a solitary meal, mixed with a little gratitude for her cat.

“The cat and I ate dinner,” she recited stone faced. “Not the same dinner. We both had tuna.”

I burst out laughing at her unexpected ending. Maybe you had to be there, but it was hilarious and one of the highlights of the evening! After finding a tissue to wipe my tears, and saying goodbye to Maria, I pondered what may be my next poem: I dwell in the possibility of wine with a friend.

Cheers!

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Filed under Inspiration, Motivation, poetry, Writing ideas, Writing resources

Future you will thank you

Think of something you regularly resist doing. Something you make excuses to avoid, that you always put off until the last minute, or that you dread until you actually get started.

What comes to mind? Paying your taxes? Leg day? Going to the dentist? Flipping your mattress? Writing thank you letters? Leg day? Is it leg day?

For me, it’s timed writing exercises. (And leg day.)

There’s something unsettling about being given a tightly constrained topic, coming up with an idea, writing under the clock, trying to write well, and—gasp—sharing whatever writing you’re able to churn out. In our writing group, I’m usually the one who greets a new writing exercise with a groan and lost-my-pen-sorry-can’t-write excuses.

I don’t really know where this resistance comes from. My inner asshole will say it’s because I’m lazy. My inner therapist will say it’s because I have a fear of failure and a fear of success. Let’s say they’re both right. Writing, and writing well, is hard work, and sometimes it’s easier to do just about anything else.

I got to face this resistance head-on in a Restless Writers meeting back in April. We had just wrapped up our pre-meeting ritual of Sun Chips, sparkling wine, and catching up. Beckie’s idea for a “pen-to-paper power 10” activity was the first thing on the agenda, and she asked if we were all still up for it.

I felt the resistance burble up immediately. I knew that this activity was meant to spark some creativity, activate our writing muscles, and give us some quick writing wins. Still, I piped up with, “I’d be okay with skipping it.” I assumed my mind would be blank, I wouldn’t know what to write about, and whatever I did end up writing would probably be garbage. Yikes. But the others were gung-ho, so Beckie pulled out a stack of prompts.

The prompts were simple but intriguing:

  • Write about an item you have that isn’t expensive but means a lot to you.
  • What colour do you feel like today and why?
  • Write a recipe for something abstract like a feeling or an event.
  • Write a magic spell for something you need right now in your life.

My interest was piqued. I ignored the remnants of resistance hovering at the edges of my brain and told myself that at least this would be over in 10 minutes.

We all picked out the prompt that worked for us. I chose the magic spell one. Beckie set the timer, and we settled into silence.

The first minute was bleak. I told myself I could literally write whatever I wanted, even if it was a magic spell to win the lottery. Because if there’s anything I need in my life right now, it’s cash-ola. This got me thinking that winning the lottery isn’t the only way to get money—I could get a windfall some other way, or snag a promotion, or one of my business ideas could hit pay-dirt.

The second minute was when the prompt clicked. I came up with a pagan-inspired spell to put me on the path to good fortune. (I’m still on that path, obviously, otherwise I’d be on a beach in Cabo right now.) I wrote as quickly as possible in my signature chicken-scratch, and even had some time to edit before time was up.

When the timer dinged, I had written something I thought was funny and clever, with a tongue-in-cheek style and a smidge of satire.

In fact, everyone had written something. We read our writings out loud, which led to new conversations and tangents and ideas. I had a frisson of excitement in my tummy, like I just accomplished something a little bit brave. I get that same feeling when I single-handedly exterminate a centipede or put an Ikea bookshelf together.

It felt…good.

On YouTube, I follow Kara and Nate, an adorable couple from Nashville who have a travel channel. (You should follow them; they’re a blast.) Kara has this saying that goes something like, “Future Kara loves past pain.” That saying helped her power through extreme challenges and achieve impressive things. She might not have wanted to do the thing—like go skydiving or hike up the equivalent of Mt. Everest—but her future self was really glad she did.

Participating in a short timed writing exercise may not be apples-to-apples with skydiving, but it was still the thing I didn’t want to do. Getting myself to get started and do the work was the hard part. While I was writing, the words came easily. When I was done, I felt energized and exhilarated—and ready to do more.

We tried out the same writing activity at our next meeting. And guess who was a convert? Yours truly. I may now be our group’s writing-exercise evangelist. Those 10-minute sprints are fun, unpredictable, challenging, surprising, and real. They remind me that if I want to accomplish my writing goals, I have to put in the work.

If you’re resisting getting started on your writing project, give a timed writing exercise a try. Or book a writing session in your calendar, or have your SO/best friend/accountability partner harangue you into writing.

Lean into the discomfort. Future you will thank you.

Maria

PS: Have you tried a timed writing exercise before? How did it go? Do you have a favourite prompt to share? Leave it in the comments.

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“How’s that novel coming along?”

Honouring your unofficial accountability partners

How many times have you been on the receiving end of a question like this?  

“How’s that novel coming along?” “Have you finished your book yet?” “When can I read that short story?”

No matter who asks me this kind of question—my writing group colleagues, my sister, or a random well-intentioned stranger who hears that I am a writer—I have an emotional, visceral response. An internal shudder. A surge of irritation. An immediate need to run away or hide.

I find it’s easy to respond with a little white lie: “Still chugging away!” Or a deflection: “It’s fine. But tell me about your new job!” Or a half-hearted attempt at a joke: “You’ll have to wait a bit longer—I’m holding out for a 6-figure advance and a Netflix adaptation.”

If I’m feeling especially fragile, I want to lash out with sarcasm or venom. Or just cry.

It’s no fun being reminded that your work in progress is just that—a work in progress. As in, not done yet. Especially if you feel stuck, if you’re comparing yourself to another writer, or if you had planned on reaching whatever word-count by now. Maybe you haven’t written anything in weeks, and the shame and self-loathing is gnawing at your insides. Maybe you gave up on your novel and turned your focus to renovating your laundry room, or gardening, or moping. (Been there.)

Whatever plot problem, personal vulnerability, or other form of writer’s block has caused your project to stall, it’s not the fault of that friend or family member who innocently stumbled into your creative dark night of the soul.

Instead of blasting that hapless individual or succumbing to those negative feelings, try this instead:

Pause: Take a deep breath. Sip your drink. Tie your shoelaces. Do something to give yourself a moment before you respond.

Smile: The action of using your face muscles to smile can have an effect on whatever negative emotion you’re actually feeling. Basically, fake it ‘til you make it.

Say thank you: This person is taking an interest in you and your writing. They don’t know about your internal struggles. They probably care about you and genuinely want to know how it’s going.

Clock your response: Notice the emotion you feel in response to their inquiry and reflect on why it set you off. Think about why you had the emotional response you did.

Be honest with them: You’re not obligated to tell this person why your writing has stalled. That’s between you and your muse—or you and your therapist. But if it feels right in the moment, share that the writing isn’t going as smoothly as you like. They might have some words of wisdom, or at least a sympathetic ear.

Be honest with yourself: If something isn’t going the way you want with your writing, you’re the only one who can change things. Ultimately, you’re responsible for moving forward with your creative project. Whatever has you stalled—lack of time, lack of motivation, boredom, frustration, a problem with craft, a problem with structure—it’s up to you to dig into that challenge and find a way through it.

As unwelcome or uncomfortable as those questions are, they can be the kick in the pants you need to get back to writing. Taking a closer look at why questions like this set you off can help you understand what’s keeping you from moving forward.

And that can ultimately help you turn discomfort into action.

How do you handle questions about your writing?

Maria

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Making trade-offs to achieve your writing goals in 2023

Thoughts on burners, balance, and blending

It’s “new year, new you” season. If you’re a writer like me, you might be planning how you’ll approach your projects this year. And if, like me, you know you’ll take on too many projects this year and you see the dreaded stress, burnout, and soul-sucking disappointment on the horizon, lean in. I’ve got some thoughts.

James Clear, a writer and thought-leader on human behaviour and productivity, has written about the “four burners” theory. This theory envisions your life as made up of four quadrants, like four burners on a gas stove. Those four quadrants are family, friends, health, and work.

The four burners theory maintains that if you want to be successful, you can’t have all four burners going full-blast at once. You have to turn the gas down on one burner if you want to be successful, or cut one or two burners off completely.

Clear confesses that, at first, he wanted to find workarounds, so he could keep all four burners going and still be successful. For example, combining burners—such as friends and health, or health and work—but he eventually came to terms with what the theory is telling him about choice.

“Essentially, we are forced to choose. Would you rather live a life that is unbalanced, but high-performing in a certain area? Or would you rather live a life that is balanced, but never maximizes your potential in a given quadrant?”

James Clear

My two main thoughts from Clear’s article are this: 1) Work-life balance shouldn’t be the goal; and 2) Four burners doesn’t tell the whole story.

One: Work-life balance shouldn’t be the goal.

We are not bottomless wells of energy. We can only spend so much of our attention and energy and focus at a time, and we can’t keep up all aspects of our life on “full gas.” That way lies the aforementioned stress, burnout, and soul-sucking disappointment. But as Clear says, aiming for balance might mean that you aren’t excelling in any one area. Ideally, we should strive to put the right amount of energy towards the specific quadrants of our lives where we want to excel, when it makes sense—but it can’t happen all the time. You can’t give everything equal energy. Throughout your life, different burners will take precedence, and you will have to focus on them for as long as needed.

Bill Howatt, chief research and development officer of workforce productivity at Morneau Shepell maintains that there is no work-life balance. For Howatt, it’s all about blending your time.

“Most of us don’t live in two separate worlds where at work we focus only on work and at home we focus only on home.”

Bill Howatt

This blending concept resonated with me. I work from home, and the lines between those two domains are blurred. Hands up if you find yourself working over your lunch break or checking messages while you do laundry in the evenings. Keep your hands up if you also end up “homing from work”—making doctor’s appointments, checking personal emails, or throwing the laundry in the dryer when you’re on the clock. There’s no clear and definite separation, thanks to technology and the changing expectations of the workplace.

Instead of finding some elusive sense of balance, Howatt recommends using the tools of awareness, accountability, and action to find the perfect blend of work, home, and the other burners of your life you have to keep simmering.

Two: Four burners doesn’t tell the whole story.

The thing that really stuck in my mind was, why only four burners? I found myself hung up on the fact that the four burners model doesn’t represent my life.

As someone who works a day-job, does freelance work, writes in the early and wee hours, and pursues a variety of other projects and initiatives, I find the “work” label too simplistic.

I also volunteer. Is that work? Friends? Health?

Some people get great meaning and fulfillment out of their spirituality, and attend services and events related to their faith community. Where’s the burner for that?

Semantics? Perhaps. Maybe I need to forget about the specific burners. Maybe I need to make my own imaginary stove with enough burners to represent my life and have each one labelled appropriately: family, friends, work, writing, health, volunteering. We are each of us unique individuals with a wide variety of interests and responsibilities.

What it boils down to is no matter what burners I have on my stove, I can’t give them all equal energy all the time. I will have to choose for myself which quadrants of my life need the most attention and when, and how to light the other burners back up when it makes sense.

As Clear says, it’s all about trade-offs.  Am I okay with dialing back my creative pursuits while I ramp up my volunteer commitments? Can I give my partner less attention than my current WIP and still feel okay with it? What are the trade-offs that I’m willing to make?

These are the kinds of new-year thoughts I need to mull over this month.

What burners make up your stove? Have you ever had to put a burner on simmer while you gave another one more gas? How did it go? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Happy 2023 (and happy writing!) from the Restless Writers!

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