Not Quite What I Was Thinking

According to the literary legend, novelist Ernest Hemingway was once challenged in a bar to write a story in only six words. He wrote, “For sale: baby shoes, never worn.”

If you were asked to sum up your life in six words, could you do it? I was challenged with this recently and it’s been an interesting exercise. I wrote a bunch of bios, then a bunch more. It was surprising how many I could come up with, some poetic, some funny, and some that resembled silly haikus. All of them a bit out of the ordinary, yet candid and concise.

Here’s one of them:

Artist trapped in civil servant’s body. ~ Beckie

After jotting down a dozen for myself, I took it further and extended the challenge to the Restless Writers and here’s what I got:

Strives for perfection, stymied by procrastination. ~ Maria

Writer wannabe, ‘cuz I hate housework. ~ Lori

Of course, I stumbled upon many more (like this) out there. The online magazine Smith asked its readers to do the same. The result was Not Quite What I Was Planning, a collection of six-word memoirs by famous and not-so-famous writers, artists, and musicians.

Here are a few of them:

No future, no past. Not lost. ~ Matt Brensilver

Catholic school backfired. Sin is in! ~ Nikki Beland

Well, I thought it was funny. ~ Stephen Colbert

Deceptively simple. Surprisingly addictive. The profound brevity of these bios leaves you knowing so much, and yet somehow leaves you wanting more. Give it a try, the experience of capturing real-life stories in six words is an insightful one.

What’s your six-word bio? We invite you to leave it in the comments section.

BJas

Tip #27: Do not show up at an agent's office wearing this.

Thankfully, the conference I went to last autumn cured me of my Agent-related OCD. The agent/editor panels were a revelation—instead of guessing what made agents tick, I was able to sit back and listen to them tell me. On the off chance there are other A-R OCD sufferers out there, here some pearls of wisdom, straight from the agent’s mouth:

What agents are seeing too much of:
- Vampires and werewolves
- Mid-life spiritual memoirs
- Heavy YA (i.e. young girls being severely abused)
- Talking animals in children’s books

What would agents love to see:
- Judy Blume-like contemporary middle grade
- Chinese spy novel set between two World Wars
- Historical thriller that lends to a series/branding

What can an agent bring to the table:
- Editorial experience
- Other opportunities to create revenue streams (i.e. speaker services)
- Someone who will champion your work to the world

What agents look for in a new author:
- Writing is becoming very voice-driven and it must be engaging and distinct (i.e. don’t try to write like J.K. Rowling)
- Emotion on the page that evokes a visceral response in the reader
- A great title can make the difference in an agent giving attention to your query
- Have an understanding of the publishing business so you know what your work has to go through before it’s printed
- Critique partners are essential in getting your manuscript ready for an agent, who will then take it up another notch before going to publishers

What all aspiring authors should know about agents:
- Agents take on new clients in cycles, depending on their current list, and much of getting an agent depends on timing
- Summer is not a slow time to query—it’s always busy (one agent signed a client on Christmas Eve! Another one found her client at a drag show!)
- A good query has a hook (logline), book (plot) and cook (bio)—don’t get too clever/cute/wordy

What agents think of social networking:
- Interacting on Twitter and Facebook demonstrates to editors/agents that you are serious about being a career author and building a network
- Unless you get 60,000+ hits per month, having a blog is not as important for fiction writers—the story is what really matters
- Remember that the internet is like a live microphone—be nice and supportive online because agents and editors and readers will Google you
- Think of Google as your virtual resume

What agents think of self-publishing:
- It’s ideal for traditionally-published authors who already have a readership base or who’ve regained rights to previously-published work
- Do it properly (e.g. hire a professional editor, graphic designer)
- Digital publishing is growing, but it’s still one piece of the author’s puzzle
- Agents/editors act as gatekeepers for quality control and can offer brand management (i.e. media outreach) that an author can do alone, but is infinitely harder
- “Debut” is not a dirty word in publishing and often no data is better than bad data when it comes to sales tracking
- It can be tricky trying to move from self-publishing to traditional—40,000 copies sold through self-publishing may be interpreted by a traditional publisher as either not enough copies sold or that it’s been sold to everyone who will buy it
- If your genre is hard to categorize or you have plenty of time to self-promote, self-publishing may be a good option for you

What should you ask an agent when you get “the call” (or, more likely, “the email”):
- How do you work (i.e. does contact occur via phone, email, etc.)?
- What’s the plan from here? What do you see as next steps in terms of short and long-term strategy?
- What do you connect with in the book?
- What revisions do you suggest?
- What’s your experience with my kind of book?

What’s the biggest thing Lori learned from the agents?
- Agents are, remarkably, regular people. And like other regular people, there are some you click with more than others. They have good and bad days, they have personal preferences when it comes to books (and, one would assume, other things), they love their authors and they love what they do. Most importantly, they all want to find new authors with fresh voices and exciting ideas.

As you may have gathered, it appears that the best time to query your dream agent is…right now. Seriously—if your Chinese spy novel set between two World Wars and query letter are as perfect as you can make them, it’s time to send them out into the world.

If your voice is strong, pace is unputdownable, timing is right and you don’t include glitter with a lemon-scented query letter, today could be the day you get an agent.

LD

Here are the contest details:

The Nick Blatchford Occasional Verse Contest. Sponsored by TNQ editor Kim Jernigan and family in celebration of the man who sparked their love of poetry, this contest is for poems written in response to an occasion, personal or public—poems of gratitude or grief, poems that celebrate or berate, poems that make of something an occasion or simply mark one.

• Winning Poem: $1,000 for one glorious poem. Another $1,000 in prize money will be distributed as the judges fancy.
• Deadline: Postmarked February 28, 2012
• Entry fee: $40 for up to 2 unpublished poems, $5 each for additional poems

The Edna Staebler Personal Essay Contest. They are interested in unpublished essays of any length, on any topic, in which the writer’s personal engagement with the topic provides the frame or through-line.

• Winning Essay: $1,000
• Deadline: Postmarked March 28, 2012
• Entry fee: $40 per submission

The Peter Hinchcliffe Fiction Award, sponsored by the St. Jerome’s University English Dept. For a work of short fiction by a Canadian writer in the early stages. TNQ defines a writer in the early stages as someone who has not yet published a first story collection or novel. There is no word limit; all submissions are judged blind. Though there is only one prize, all submissions will be considered for publication.

• Winning Story: $1,000
• Deadline: May 28, 2012
• Entry Fee: $40 per submission

Please note: Entrants for all three contests must be Canadian or currently residing in Canada. Entry fee for each includes a one-year subscription to The New Quarterly. For full details, see www.tnq.ca/contests.

If you want to be kept apprised of other contest opportunities from TNQ, catch up with them on Twitter.

Maria

Kudos to TYPE Bookstore owner Joanne Saul on her crazy fun Joy of Books video. We love dancing books just as much as we love indie book stores.  These are challenging times for booksellers. Make friends with an independent bookstore today!

BJas

Yes, this is our writing group...if Meryl Streep were a member.

The Restless Writers are often approached by people looking for a writing group to join. For the most part, these writers want what we’ve got—a kick-ass little troop that is supportive, energetic, thoughtful, caring, and hells-to-the-yeah fun.

Here’s what we tell these would-be Restless Writers about finding or starting a group of their own:

Dear [Would-be Restless Writer]:

The Restless Writers are a group of three women who get together in person on a semi-regular basis to share and critique pages, act as sounding boards for new ideas, kvetch about our husbands, and drink wine. We think we’re a collective hoot. We think we make each other better writers. 

We love meeting people like us who write and live and tear out their hair trying to do both well. However, we’re not really a formal writing group with rules and deadlines and firm meeting dates, which makes us irritating as hell if you’re looking for structure.

Trying to find a writing group can be like online dating, except with a greater chance of hooking up with sociopaths. You want to find people who have good writing skills, creativity, passion, joy, and intuition. Plus great hair and awesome personalities. We were lucky.

Here are five ways to find a writing group you can call your own:

1) Check out http://quick-brown-fox-canada.blogspot.com/ and subscribe to Brian Henry’s e-newsletter (and sign up for one of his workshops too if you’re in Ontario). You could place a call-out in his newsletter for writing peeps in your area. Note: This worked for us.

2) Make friends with an independent bookstore in your neighbourhood. We’re lucky to have A Different Drummer Books and Bryan Prince Bookseller close by, both with plenty of events throughout the year to enjoy and meet other writers at. Even the big-box booksellers have events.

3) Your local library is a great resource—attend a reading, enter a writing contest, or talk to a librarian to see if they know of a local group.

4) Keep an eye on your community newspaper for announcements about writing events. You may even find an article about a certain Restless Writer who was recently interviewed… (ahem, it’s Beckie! As soon as it’s online we’ll pressure her to post the link.).

5) Talk to people! You’ll never know if your co-worker’s husband’s best friend is a writer who’s also looking for a writing group…unless you ask. Shelve your shyness and mingle!

We wish you the best of luck at finding a super-supportive writing group that helps you be the best writer you can be.

Maria

This week, I received a call to do a media interview for Chicken Soup as I am a contributor to this edition! My story, From Vile to Vegas appears in Chapter Nine: Life Lessons and is about a home reno project—one that was full of drips, drama, and dazzle. Sure, renovations aren’t typically associated with celebrating Canadian culture but why shouldn’t they be? I think being Canadian is about having a story—and we all have them. I had written the story based on personal experience, and my writing group encouraged me to submit it. The journey to flow, form, and function (it was a bathroom reno) was honest, humorous, and oh so frighteningly real.

Chicken Soup for the Soul O Canada is full of inspirational, amusing, and encouraging stories that will touch the heart of any Canadian. Stories include a wide range of topics written by Canadians, from daily life to Canadian holidays, along with tales from tourists and visitors. In addition to the 101 stories contributed by everyday Canadians, personal bonus stories from Amy Sky, Marc Jordan, Matt Duchene, George Kourounis, Laura Robinson and lyrics from Liona Boyd’s upcoming album, “The Return,” start every chapter.

Being a part of the Chicken Soup for the Soul family has been a positive experience for me. If you like to write (and need some publishing credits under your belt), check out their submission guidelines at www.chickensoup.com. They are always looking for new contributors to share stories of hope, courage, and inspiration.

Has anyone else been published in Chicken Soup? What was your experience like?

BJas

LD

As some of you might have read, one of the Restless Writers challenged me to actually finish one of my short stories and submit it to a literary journal or contest. Well, Beckie will be pleased to hear I have done just that. I just sent off a short story to the Fiddlehead’s 21^st Annual Literary Contest.

Now comes the hard part—waiting.

The Fiddlehead will be announcing the results before the end of February, so I’ve got some time to kill.

That means three months before I find out if I placed in the contest at all, and three months before I learn if I can submit the same story elsewhere with better luck (no simultaneous submissions).

To keep myself occupied, here are a few of the things I can do until I hear back about the results (if I hear back—fingers crossed!):

• Read some short-story collections, like Zsuzsi Gartner’s Better Living Through Plastic Explosives or D.W. Wilson’s Once You Break A Knuckle, to better torture myself on how I could have improved my submission.
• Cram in my Christmas shopping. Watch out, Mapleview Mall, I have a VISA and I’m not afraid to use it!
• Organize all my Stampin’ Up stamps, inks and papers into a beautiful craft box, complete with mini-scissors, snail glue and sprinkles…and give them away to someone who digs crafts. I am so not that girl.
• Prepare a business plan and pitch for the Dragon’s Den. One of these puppies has to be a winner.
• Brush up on my Spanish, so the next time someone calls me “Rojita Hermosita” I’ll respond with a blush and a thank-you instead of a blank stare.
• Edit my sock drawer. It’s getting embarrassing.
• Work on—and finish—another story. The Restless Writers are getting sick of my half-imagined, partially completed bits and pieces and want to see me churn something out. Don’t worry, girls, it’s coming!

I know the best thing I can do is keep writing. This is just one contest out of the many opportunities we short-story writers have to get our work out into the world. The secret is to keep writing and keep submitting, so the days spent waiting are productive and your chances of successfully getting published are multiplied.

Who else is playing the waiting game right now?

Maria

I cannot emphasize enough what an amazing opportunity this conference provides to authors looking for an agent. Unlike most writing conferences that offer a couple of anxiety-ridden pitch sessions, Backspace provides genre-specific workshops where authors spend hours having their query letters and opening pages critiqued by agents seeking new clients.

Not all participants receive offers of representation, but at the very least they should come away inspired and informed enough to make their manuscript query-ready. I received multiple requests for my women’s fiction manuscript, but of equal importance was the opportunity to connect with writers who have become beta readers, cheerleaders and swoon-worthy drinking buddies.

I’ve also completed a children’s chapter book that I’m ready to query, but only YA was being represented in the workshops. Luckily, Backspace offered agent/editor panels on both days and writers were able to pitch their work to them following the sessions. This allowed me to connect with agents who represent children’s fiction (more referrals and requests for pages).

Since I went totally budget on the accommodations and was able to score a cheap flight, the entire conference cost me just over $1,000—obviously a significant chunk of coin, but think of it as an investment in yourself…that’s how I sold it to my husband

LD